Smallville:Kent_S10_Ep17 Part 2

(filed under Scorch’s review of Smallville:Kent)

"Superman?" Really? ...Time to rethink that.

Continued from Part 1 

Sequence 4: So our Clark comes to, tied to a chair in Mirror Kent Farm, with Mirror Johnathan about to kick his ass. Mirror Johnathan’s explanation of what the meteor shower did to his life was just heart rendering. This Johnathan is decidedly a bitter and broken man, almost Jokeresque without the laughter. What also amazes me about this scene is that Clark doesn’t just go straight to the explanation…I don’t get why he wastes any time talking about anything else except how he’s not Clark Luthor. But the audience needed a chance for Johnathan to do some exposition, so Clark has to act completely unnatural. As usual. Johnathan mentions the fact that he found some Gold Kryptonite, very interesting; more about that later. Johnathan figures out that if he turns in Clark Luthor, it’ll be his lottery, and he can get his farm back. It’s just wretching to see this play out. Clark plays the Martha card, and of course, as always, it’s a reference to a relationship that turns the tide for the men on this show. Clark FINALLY explains his version of events, and somehow convinces Johnathan to untie him. Which is stupid, because duhr, super speed means your life is over JohnO if you let him loose and close the lead lined Green K box. Good thing it really is Good Clark or your mcfriggin’ goose woulda been cooked. Smart money would’ve said, “Oh no buddy, you stay tied up and the Meteor Rock stays out and you TELL me what it is you want me to see.” But, this is Smallville. Leave all brains at the door.

Meanwhile, back in the UnMatrix…hot damn. It’s a sight I will never forget. Tess in that boobtastic purple dress. I’ve always maintained that Cassidy is hot beyond belief, but damn, she took it to a whole new level with this one. The only problem I have with Tess at this point is that she is both the most confused and confusing character on the show, because I have no idea who she is or how she feels from week to week. She was better as the Lilah of this show, when Oliver was scratchin’ her itches. So Clark Luthor drops the not totally surprising bomb that Tess has feelings for Clark Kent…what an interesting development THAT is. It was kind of obvious all season long, but CL removes all doubt. And let me say, that CLuthor is so much more suave and confident and straightforward than CK until I wish he was the star of this show. But, people in Hell want ice water.

Holy GAWD Tess’s boobs are about to pop out of that dress. This show really wants to be PornVille most of the time anyway, but they didn’t hide it too well with Miss Purple Reign here. Hotchie mowwa wowwa. The psychological dance that CLuthor is doing is very reminiscent of Angelus to me..he’s telling the truth and watching his targets squirm before he moves in for the kill. He knows Tess’s deepest longings…those being, that she secretly wants Clark to rescue her from the torment and baggage of her family name and the Damocles sword that is Lionel and build a life with her. With her. Not Lois. Now that little revelation has potential. At first I was really disappointed that CL’s motivation seemed like it was just Tess, but the exposition here shows that he very wisely has realized that celebrity status in his world cost him big time. But in this universe, he can have his woman, his dead father, his power, and his pleasure, without harassment. Brilliant. But he’s basically holding a knife to Tess’s throat to make it happen. Deliciously ominous. I’m tellin’ ya, Lionel, Bizarro, and Clark Luthor are my favorite villains out of the whole ten years of this thing.

Sequence 5: Mirror Farmville and Clark grabs his grandfather’s gun to prove that he’s not Clark Luthor. I think that it’s the fact that Clark doesn’t try to shoot him with it that actually does it. More speechifying, and they bond. But still, neither Johnathan nor Lois had any real reason to trust our Clark, because he very well could’ve been Clark Luthor pretending, and…more about that at the end. So they hear the sirens, and Johnathan calls him son. Just heart wrenching. I actually had hope for a moment there that Clark was gonna be able to pull this Johnathan back with him, and give him another chance in his world. That just woulda been awesome. But no…Clark is pulled back into his world right as he was going to grab Johnathan. When I first saw that it made me really sad…but now I have the feeling that Mirror Johnathan is gonna pull a Mirror Lionel and show up in the finale. Just a hunch. Doesn’t the damn Kent family deserve a damn happy ending for a damn change? I’m not sayin’ anything I’m just sayin’.

It still makes no sense that Emil could fix the Mirror Box…more or less activate it…because I thought that only Clark or another Kryptonian could activate it. Because it just pulls Clark back and no one else. Plus, all of this switching begs the question of why Ultraman waited so long to come to this world if he’s had a mirror box all along. But whatever.

Holy mother of mammaries. When Cluthor and Tess walk into her office and she walks to that desk, I damn near had an aneurysm from the boobage bouncity. It was just…some of the most epic cleavage I’ve seen in ten years on this show. I’m running out of snarky superlatives to describe that cavalcade of feminine flesh. But anyway *shakes head* Cluthor is trying to force Tess to give him Lionel’s GPS coordinates so he can take him out, and Tess is torn. Torn between her lust, her love, her loyalty, and her conscience. It’s really something, and really damn confusing. So Cluthor uses super speed the way you’re SUPPOSED to and actually is back in a flash after having gone on the Tess goose chase. And speaking of geese, Tess knows that hers is cooked for lying to her super psycho brother boyfriend. “I knew a Luthor would die tonight.” Chilling words indeed. Those two light up the screen in a way that Clark and Lana and Clark and Lois never did. So he friggin’ hangs Tess out by her neck and is about to drop her…although he could’ve just snapped her neck, but my guess is that he wanted to hear her screams on the way down. Anyway, Super Farmboy shows back up and saves her…and I guess he ran up the side of the building, hmmm? Couldn’t be that he flew past the window to get her.

And what happens next….I was stunned.

I was actually expecting an epic fight, like we haven’t seen since Clark and Bizarro, but all we got was a Terminatoresque push through a wall, a quick jet to the Fortress, and….more talking. More. freaking. talking. And let me also mention something about Superman on this show that I absolutely hate. He always takes the first punch. I’ve never understood why. I certainly wouldn’t if I had super speed. And they insult us, again, by having Clark Luthor fly to the Fortress. But whatever, we’re used to it by now. Smallville goes by the scripture that says, “and the first shall be last.” So it seems that Clark’s plan all along was to redeem Ultraman. Just wow. On the one hand, I can see how that lines up with Superman’s character, in that Clark wants to inspire good in even the worst of people. But on the other hand, this ending absoLUTEly does not line up with Ultraman’s character, because there is NO WAY he’d turn on a dime like that. Just no way. Everything about the Earth 2 world has to do with it being backwards…all the good guys are bad, and vice versa. Those villains REVEL in their evil, this one minute redemption speech and introduction to Jor-El wouldn’t do anything but fuel Ultraman’s desire to destroy Clark and usurp his world.

Plus, the bigger question is, how exactly did Clark Kent really expect Clark Luthor to redeem himself after all he’d done? The damage he’d caused, and the people he’d killed? At a bare minimum, Clark Luthor would have to serve multiple life sentences to atone for the murders alone…would he submit himself to that? Would the citizens of his world ever not carry Green K as a precaution? See, this ending is actually Smallville’s Space Seed. This is a perfect prelude to a Smallville version of The Wrath of Kahn, where Clark Luthor comes back to this world to tell Clark how he tried to make that new life, but Clark never checked on him, or helped him, and maybe the people of that world killed Lois instead of Ultraman, and thus killed any chance of Cluthor having any compassion in his heart. That would be epic. But. We’ll never see it. And how, exactly, did Jor-El transport Cluthor to the Mirror Fortress? Could Jor-El do that all the time? Because if he could, then the Mirror Boxes are not the only way in or out of Earth 2. But whatever, it’s Smallville. Internal story logic not required.

Sequence 6: Tess and Emil are talking about Gold K, and what it does, and wow…what a time to be having that conversation. Plus didn’t they bone a little while ago? Whatever. Tess is still struggling to try and figure out who she is. But let me again say, Gold Kryptonite. Traditionally in the comics it has indeed always been used to permanently take away Kryptonian powers on Earth. Introducing it at this point, and giving Tess access to it…it just doesn’t make any sense to me.

So Lois and Clark are having their heart to heart about what’s going on with the farm, and what it actually means to them, both individually and as a couple. Clark seems profoundly changed after his experience; maybe it’s the realization that somewhere his father is actually still alive. But let’s all say what we’re thinking, what we’re most happy about:

Wait for it, wait for it….

NO MIRROR LANA.

So anyway, Clark and Lois decide to sell the farm and move to Metropolis. Which is just a metaphor for the fact that the show is actually, really, ending. Final scene is of Mirror Johnathan going to Martha’s apartment, and finding the courage to ring her buzzer after all these years….and then End Credits. <tear jerker moment>

So, in spite of my criticisms, I was actually quite moved by this episode. Except for Ultraman’s ending, which I thought was a really lame cop out,  the story and the performances were really good, lack of internal logic notwithstanding. I have pensive hopes for the finale, in that it will really deliver, but you know what the truth is?

In spite of what Smallville is, what we’ve always wanted it to be is a Superman show. A part of me feels like it’s unfair not to see Tom and Erica fully realize those roles, as they did for those brief but exciting moments in Homecoming. But oh well. Next week: Goofy Ass Booster.

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