Smallville:Finale_S10_Ep21 Part 2

(filed under Scorch’s review of Smallville:Finale)

"We're on!" "No, we're off!" "No, we. are. on!!" "No we're not!" "AH FIDDLEYGOOP!"

Continued from Part 1

Sequence 4(continued):

While this may have been Lifetime gold, and showcases the characters as beautifully self-aware…what was the point of it? We have already been through this a million times by now. And even if Daddy’s away, where the hell is Lucy? We get it. Their love is eternal, they are destined to be together, and even though Clark’s a god, he chooses Lois because neither of them is perfect. They got each other’s backs. We get it. WE GET IT.

Tess is captured, in one of the better sequences of the episode, and I’m starting to get a funny feeling about her fate. Lesigh. She’s one of my favorite characters, especially when she’s evil, as she should be.

So the definitely recession budgeted wedding is rolling…with surprisingly little fanfare. And damn Annette looks good. Pause for dramatic tension when LoLo steps up…and Clark takes her hand and walks her down the aisle himself. Is there any symbolism there, i.e., Who’s Yo Daddy? Bizarre. Almost like Clark sending himself to Earth. Anyway. The Ghost of Jonathan is there, and it’s never really explained clearly as to what he really is, but one thing about ghosts…they’re intangible but they sure still can sit their ass on a bench. Somehow we know this isn’t gonna go off without a hitch, because Ollie’s still possessed and Gold K is in the mix.

Sequence 5:

Know what’s funny about that? Normally once you just bring Kryptonite out anywhere near Clark, he’s affected by it…but the ring was like half an inch from his finger, and bupkiss. Guess he actually has to touch Gold K for it to have any effect. So then….they subject us to hearing the vows. AGAIN.

I take thee in Kryptonite and in health, and Apokolips and across my lips, forever.

Why, exactly? Because they are lazy and needed to kill some more time, that’s why. Anyhoo, somehow Chloe super sussed out what’s going on, and slaps the ring away…but how? Did it actually glow while approaching Clark’s hand? How did she know that Oliver was funky all of a sudden? Anyway. She saves his super bacon from permanent depowering. But what’s even more weird is how Clark just calls for them to clear the room, and everybody bolts, just like that. With no questions. So SuperKent and Dark Ollie actually have the longest and best fight of the ep. Which is both cool and a shame at the same time. #HonestyHour I was happier during the first half of ‘Reckoning’ when Lana and Clark were getting married. I also don’t get how Oliver’s body didn’t sustain any damage from this. But okay. And how does Clark beat him? He talks him ‘good’ again. By believing in him. Okay. But….Apokolips is here dammit!

If a planet could have acne, I has it.

Sequence 6:

I felt two things at this point….I felt like this was a really great setup for a real job for Superman…but I can’t believe that they wasted an hour getting to it, again with events of no real consequence. We knew Oliver was gonna get cured, Clark wouldn’t be permanently depowered, Clark and Lois are going to be together no matter what, Chloe’s not gonna die, and Clark will always need all of his parents. Um. Anyway.

Chloe’s goodbye to Clark is really cryptic…she hugs him and says, “See ya in the funny pages.” I guess it was a wink to the fact that she already knows the future via the Fate Helmet. Oh well. Chloe’s been omniscient for a while now, nothing new there. And everybody’s kissing and what not while the damn world is ending. But I guess Chloe actually isn’t worried, why would she be? She does a smirk as she exits in slo mo, probably because she knows that this is it…the reveal we’ve been waiting for.

Clark sees Jonathan, again, and changes his mind, again, and realizes that all of his influences are necessary, again, and Jonathan points him to Jor-El. That was indeed powerful. But what happens next is even more so. Martha calls him a miracle, and basically blesses him to release himself to the world. Then all three of them hug.

That was just breathtaking. Because this: …is the heart and soul of the show, in its entirety. Period.

If it was up to me, this would have been the first twenty minutes of the episode(including the Tess capture). They still had me at this point.

Sequence 7:

Clark has supersped off, knowing that “it’s time.” What we see next is macabre, dark, twisted, and mostly wonderful with a little wonky comic book science thrown in. Long story short, Mirror Lionel has revealed that a FrankenLex exists…the best parts of each clone, literally stitched together, but…without a functioning heart. So this ruthless mofo is gonna CUT the HEART out of  HIS OWN DAUGHTER in order to resurrect Lex. Just dayum. This is the second part of the best thing about this show…the Luthors. In every form, variation, and incarnation, they dominate this show as the best villains. Period. Bar none. Don’t ask twice. This is Lionel as he should be, absolutely incorrigible until the end. Not sure what was going on with Glover’s beard in this scene, because he was channeling Dark Santa, but whatever, it’s always good to see him. Just. DAYUM. This was so intensely good. Clark speeds to the crime scene, sees Tess’s last recording, and we cut back to this poor girl about to do a reverse Tin Man against her will. Yikes. Did anybody else get the impression that Lionel was going to give her little to no anesthesia for the op? Cut her heart out of her while she’s still mostly conscious? ‘Cause Lionel’s gangsta like that.

Then they do two things that make so much sense that it kind of threw me with its consistent internal logic. 1) Lionel slathers on even more guilt, because he tells Tess it’s her own fault for hiding Connor from him, because Lionel had planned to take his super heart to power FrankenLex from the beginning. All of that makes perfect sense. Wow. 2) They remember that Tess is a highly trained counteragent, and she pulls an incredible Jasona Bourne and kicks the ass of everyone around her, gets the hell up off that table, and shoots her blackhearted father. That was JUST. AWESOME. Watch it here.

‘Kent‘ showed us that Cassidy has great boobs, and this ep shows us that she has great legs. Dayum. Cassidy Freeman is incredible on all points. Unfortunately….they’re going to pull a Trinity. They’re going to have Tess cheat death because she’s a badass, only to fall later. *sigh* Anyhow, DarkBark shows up and somehow strikes a bargain with Lionel, and there are so many things wrong with this scene until it boggles the mind. First of all, exactly what did Darkseid have to gain by this bargain? Why Lionel? In the end, he was just a body to face off against Clark, and Oliver proved that DarkBritches could’ve super powered anyone to do that. Second of all Lex got an old man’s heart. That’s gotta suck. Next, it’s the end of Lionel, again, but his death at Tess’s hands was better, more powerful, and more deserved. Lastly, it’s the last time we’ll see Darkseid. He will not face off against Clark directly. *facepalm* It’s Doomsday Lameness all over again.

I should’ve known.

Continued in Part 3

Sho didn't see THIS shit comin'.

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