Why Some of Us are Glad that Firefly only had One Season

I love Firefly. I really do. And I love Serenity. I was late to the party in terms of watching them, but I was hooked and geeked out once I did.

However, I am quite glad after watching various and sundry other Whedon works, that Firefly didn’t continue. Know why?

Because we already know exactly what would’ve happened to the crew in subsequent seasons.

Mal: He’d go through an even “darker” phase somehow, which would require him to suddenly and completely unexpectedly abandon the crew to go soul searching. And they’d be stunned, feel completely lost, and try to have to learn to get along without him. He wouldn’t give a damn, and he’d be going on suicide missions while he was gone. But he’d miraculously survive. Then he’d come back and try and apologize and fit back in.

Zoe: Without a doubt, she’d find THEE WORST rebound relationship person possible, something that would go against everything she believes in. That’s who she’d be screwing. And then she’d end up angry & bitter and bi-polar.

Wash: Dead, schmead. He’d come back as some type of Borg or Zombie, or maybe even some type of time warp would restore him, but he would be a different person on the inside; he’d just have Wash’s face. And he wouldn’t know the rest of the crew and he would HATE Zoe.

Book: We’d find out about his past because Mal would find some journals of his while on his dark soul-searching tour. And they would reveal that Book used to be an Operative and killed all the families of the Serenity crew.

Inara: No question, she’d die. She was already dying. What would happen in between would be that the ONE TIME she broke her “I won’t be servicing your crew” rule, it would be with Jayne, and Mal would be able to hear them boning. Then they’d fight about it for a while, then they’d finally get together and admit their deep love for one another. 24 hours later, she’d be dead.

Jayne: He’s the character that would change the least, he’d do the most morally ambiguous and selfish things, and he would get a free pass and never have to pay full consequences for his horrific behavior. Also, he would have sex with River, Kaylee, Zoe, and Inara.

Simon: One member of the crew would betray them and join the Alliance, and tell the Alliance everything that they could about Serenity. Because it would make the least amount of sense and be the most hurtful for Simon to do it, that’s exactly what would happen, and we would see Simon with hands of blue before it was all over. Also, he and Kaylee would break up for an absolutely BULLSHIT based, contrived reason, and it would completely devastate Kaylee.

Kaylee: See above, but there’d be a painful and absolutely ridiculous breakup between her and Simon. Kaylee would then go on a sex spree that would include Jayne for certain. Then, there would be a season or two where we as the audience would absolutely, completely, unequivocally fall in love with her…and then she’d die, and come back as a Reaver.

River: River would have to make up for lost time, and would immediately become as promiscuous as possible, and would definitely become bi. She would be an absolute badass fighter that could beat anyone, and would rarely lose a fight. She also would get a noble death, sacrificing herself to save the crew, and then she’d be resurrected as if nothing ever happened. When Mal left, she would take over as captain of Serenity.

I just really don’t want to see all of that. I really don’t.

So I’ll content myself with the one season and the movie that we got. It broke the Whedon rule, and Simon & Kaylee got somewhat of a happy ending.

Which means it’s marked for death.

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