It just occurred to me that I’ve never really posted my take on the fantastic Terminator:The Sarah Connor Chronicles mythology. It took me a while to get it too, and I had to read a lot of fan fiction to form anything coherent.

It all depends on exactly how Cameron got sent back. Sarah said that John sent her away from him, but Cameron didn’t actually confirm that. 

Basically the question, “Will You Join Us?” is the key. Future John reached out to the Liquid Metal species and they rejected him, but gaining or losing their loyalty was probably a key turning point in the war.
At some point T1000 Weaver realized that rejecting Connor’s offer was a mistake, so she went back in time to create a counter Skynet AI, which ended up being John Henry, to help John win the war, or at least turn the tide. At first I thought John Henry existed in the future, but there was so much about him that Weaver didn’t know, and was constructing on the spot, that it became kind of clear at the end that this was John Henry’s first appearance in the timeline. Weaver wanted peace between Humans and Metal…maybe she came from far enough in the future to see both species destroy each other and most of the planet as well.
Cameron clearly knew the significance of the phrase, “Will You Join Us?” and somehow knew that John Henry needed to get to the future, mobile, in order to help John win the war. That’s one reason why she was in the present and thus gave him her chip.

If she got sent back by Future John, he knew all of that and sent her back both to ensure his own safety, and ultimately to be sure that John Henry was created and made it to the future.
If Cameron sent herself back, it’s entirely possible that she either killed John and was trying to fix it, or John got killed as a result of their unorthodox relationship. The theory that I like the best is that other resistance leaders that thought like Jesse eventually mutinied against Connor to get him out of power, but he ended up being killed…and it was all because of Cameron. She realized then that her presence would lead to John’s death one way or the other, and sent herself back to protect teenage John, launch John Henry, and remove herself from the future equation, thus hoping to prevent Future John’s death. Which she of course would have no way of knowing, but it was a time leap of faith.

So: John Henry and his mother, WeaverBot, arrive in the future, with the idea of creating a peaceful coexistence between humans and metal. Cameron’s dechipped body is in the past, thus getting her out of the picture, and allowing John a future without her.
The only wrinkle in that scenario is the fact that teenage John came with Weaver in the time bubble, which effectively changed everything, so I don’t know how that would’ve played out…I know that Josh Friedman or Thomas Dekker have said that John would’ve come back to the present about midway through Season Three, so, there you have it. Check that out here.

Really would’ve been great to see that storyline get its proper conclusion.

HINT: DO A MOVIE LIKE THEY DID WITH FIREFLY/SERENITY DAMMIT!!!

I meant for this to be a tweet, but Twitter’s down [insert eye roll] so, blog post it is.

When I see the show from the start, I truly wish that Jacqui had survived. I liked Amy too, but I can’t see any function that she provided other than ‘Andrea’s little sister.’ Jacqui on the other hand was the pragmatic, bottom lined, cut through the bullshit voice, and it would’ve been a joy to see how she’d react to Hershel’s farm and the hunt for Sophia. I’m glad Carol’s abusive husband Ed is gone, and I can’t really see what Jim brought to the group other than just being another slightly loose cannon. Oh and, #HonestyHour, I’m not really a fan of Glenn. Never have been. He just freaking annoys me. And “T-Dog”….gawd how ah HATE his walking stereotype persona…he’s just been a clumsy danger-prone Daphne from the beginning, hasn’t he?

12:37 pm CST – Shane and Lori and Carl….they looked really happy. Lori never looked as happy with Rick. And again, Jim…useless.

12:50 pm  CST – Oh dayum, I forgot that Rick and Lori boned with Carl asleep in the tent and Shane watching. That’s just some freaky shit right there. Bwhahahahahha

1:03 pm CST – I forgot they used to call them “geeks.” That’s kinda funny. Hard to remember that I really didn’t like Daryl when he was first introduced, because he’s one of my all time favorite characters now. You can also see the wonderful built-in Superman/Batman conflict dynamic between Rick and Shane from the beginning. Rick’s foolish and naive altruism vs. Shane’s practical, selfish, do-what-needs-to-be-done approach…it. is. awesome.

2:07 pm CST – That’s the most balls I remember Rick showing, when he was in that standoff with Guillermo. I thought for SURE there was gonna be a firefight. Was looking forward to it, actually. Then the episode totally crapped out & went in another direction….and then. The zombie raid on the camp. Just holy damn.

2:22 pm CST – Okay, just caught the inference of Ed molesting Sophia, or at least wanting to. Ugh. What a loser. He deserved to be zombie Mcnuggets, but Amy didn’t. Dammit. “I remember now….why I dug the holes.”

Dayum.

3:04 pm CST – I think that the CDC episodes are my least favorite ones in the series.

4:32 pm CST – WOW. I forgot that Rick kicked Shane’s ass in the CDC. Rick sure had balls in the 1st season, I’m sorry that he lost them in season two. And again. Dammit, Jacqui. This whole Dale/Andrea relationship just feels really…I dunno, funny, awkward. I also forgot how Sophia gets gone in the SEASON OPENER of S2. Just wow again. I freaking love this show.

5:14 pm CST – Dale and Shane! Pricks of the year!

6:03 pm CST – I wish Rick had a Plan B like Lori did, namely, Shane.

8:35 pm CST – I dunno who’s more at fault for Sophia; Rick, Hershel, or Sophia herself. But, as always, Shane was right. People seem to be confused about that; just because he’s an asshole, doesn’t mean that he hasn’t been right every damn time. And, Maggie & Glenn were hot, but Glenn doesn’t deserve all that farmer girl goodness.

9:32 pm CST – Daryl’s a racist redneck, but hot DAMN if he’s not still a badass motherfucker. This fool pulled an arrow out of his gut, cocked his crossbow & killed a walker with it in less than 30 seconds. Just DAYUM.

9:48 pm CST -

+

=

Just for the record, these narcissistic heartless bastards deserve each other.

11:00 pm CST- The last time I had this much of an emotional reaction to a midseason cliffhanger was….okay I actually don’t ever

remember reacting this much.  I knew from the moment I saw Hershel that he was some damn controlling super religious believer of impractical and stupid dogma. I knew it. Damn the close of this Sophia arc was so powerful I’ve watched it countless times. And still…STILL…it gets to me every damn time. Poor Carol. But, I’ll scream it with my last freaking breath: SHANE. WAS. RIGHT.

So, I guess I’ll close this blog post with the most ‘speaks-for-itself-’ image of all time:

Don’t quite understand why Artemis doesn’t recognize Robin out of costume…but it was cool to see her actually get started with Gotham Academy, and cool to see that Cheshire is actually her older sister. And, Barbara Gordon!!!! As well as Bette Kane of course. This just keeps getting better. Definitely cool to see Superboy and M’gann continue their recently initiated hot n’ heaviness. Those wacky kids.

I hadn’t thought about it in a while, but yes, fire would take down both Aqualad and Miss Martian for sure; wasn’t quite sure why Kid Flash didn’t vibrate out, unless he can’t. Nice touch by Conner saying that Kryptonians don’t breathe air, seeing as how he’s half human, so he would anyway. It was also refreshing to see Artemis run out of arrows, as Green Arrow always seems to have an unending quiver. And Robin? Still my favorite, because he is so much like Batman.

But the big kahunas of the episode are clearly the Red Elementals. One fire, one water, come to retrieve their brother, the air elemental, our Red Tornado. Wicked awesome.

What I thought this episode was about was an elaborate setup, orchestrated by Aqualad & Red Tornado, to test Artemis’ loyalties. Especially after the bit in Wally’s trophy room about finding a new family. That may yet still turn out to be the case, depending on if Red Tornado is faking or not. We’ll see.

Can’t wait to see Part 2!

And with a freaking vengeance. Continuity & shared universe gives me a geekgasm on 11 every time I watch this show, I wish the live action divisions thought the same way. *headdesk*

I have to admit, I really don’t like how much they’ve depowered Superman on this series, but that seems to be par for the course these days. I also don’t know how comfortable I am with Batman sending the kids in with this level of danger in a mission. He takes far too many chances with them as far as I’m concerned. I love how they tied in just about every episode so far, starting with the first one and the ice villains uniting. Good to see there was an ultimate purpose. Amanda Waller was just a lil’ more ghetto than usual in this one, and this was damn near Shawshank, but that’s okay. Kinda strange that Captain Cold never said anything.

Good to see all of the monsters in this as well; I love this show!

So finally, Superboy and M’Gann get their groove on, and it’s really cute, in a damn they’re just teenagers and they’re gonna break up kind of way. I’m just constantly amazed at the level of detail that’s put into this show, and it simultaneously gives me great joy to watch it, and it makes me lose even more respect for lazy writing on other shows.

Didn’t care for their version of the Riddler. Felt more like that was “Riddler Jr.” Mr. Freeze however is one of my all time favorite Bat-Villains, and it’s funny how Ojo recognized Superboy and kept getting smacked down before he could out him. And Hugo Strange and Papa Icicle are in cahoots with this all powerful light. Dr. Light I’m sure.

Well thought out, well executed, great emotional pay off, and significant things happened. WIN!

Angelus snarled. “You will be!”

That day…that conversation…still haunted her. In her dreams. In her waking hours. While she was having sex.

Because she had never told anyone…anyone…the ugly truth.

There’s always a turning point. There’s always a day when you go from being an innocent child to…whatever you are after that, because it’s different for every person.

That goes up by a factor of 10 for a Slayer. =====================================================

Click to read “The Return of Fred” FIRST

♫♪♫  Well I talked about it, talked about it, talked about it! Ah-ah talked about it, talked about it, talked about movin’ on! ♫♪♫ 

“Hello?” Faith answered her cell.

“Hey. Faith. It’s Angel,” sounded the voice on the other end. “I thought you weren’t gonna pick up at first.”

“No, it’s all good man, I just like listening to my ringtone,” she grinned. In that dirty sort of way she had of making everything naughty. “What’s up?”

Angel, the human, laid it all down. Wesley. Lilah. Pylea. Groo’s death. And the Big Bads that were running around LA with his friends’ faces on them.

Faith was uncharacteristically silent. “Faith? …You still there?” queried Angel.

“Yah…yeah man, I’m here. The mentals are spinnin’, y’know?

…So…have you heard from…well, Angelus? Kinda weird sayin’ that.”

“Weird doesn’t begin to describe it. Knowing Angelus, he’s all about tenderizing the meat. He’d want us to sweat awhile, wondering when he’s going to strike befo-” Faith heard a loud crash.

“Angel? Angel?” Then the call went dead.

Faith sat perfectly still for 9.7 seconds. Then she called Willow. “Will? Stop whatever you’re doing with whoever you’re doing it with.

Shit just got real.” ============================================================================================= Of course Will can’t come right now. She’s always 10 steps behind the party, thought Faith as she sped towards Los Angeles. She always figures that she’ll make a quantum difference when she *does* show up. Because magic tends to give you the big head. Faith chuckled. Connor would say that a lot. …Connor. Now *there’s* a bronco that needs breakin’. And Wes. He’s all in spook jail with Lilah. I’d buy their sex tape for sure. 

And then it happened, like it always did. When she was alone, when there was no one around to screw, or to screw with, in her mind’s eye, she saw it. Saw her. And she was nine years old again.

Faith quickly blocked it out. She had to focus. Because there was no telling what she was about to walk into. Funny thing about this Slayer life. I’ve seen the world ending more than once…and for some reason, somehow, some way, the stakes get higher every time.

She knew that she was coming up on some speed traps. So she sped up. Because cops giving speeding tickets? They always liked to fuck. Or fight. The two things she was best at.

Oh and that whole taking condoms off with her teeth thing. But that was another story. =============================================================================================== Blood. Ridiculous amounts of blood, everywhere, all over the Hyperion floor. There was some blood that was a darker hued red than the rest, and Faith just assumed that that used to be Groo. She braced herself. “Guys?” she called out. “Hello, Angel? Guys?”

A chorus of moans came from behind the front desk. Faith rushed over to see Angel and Fred, all bunched up behind the desk. Looking like they’d done their laundry while still wearing their clothes.

She crouched down. “What happened?”

“It was, *cough*…Angelus.” Angel spat blood. “He crashed in while we were on the phone.”

Faith looked around. “Where’s Cor & Gunn?”

“They’re outside,” squeaked Fred. “Resetting the perimeter alarms.” Fred had a strange look on her face. And her head was slightly cocked to her left side when she answered Faith.

Kind of like Illyria would do.

“Give it to me straight, no chaser, Boss. How’d you survive?” asked Faith. Angel pushed forward a contraption that Faith had never seen before. It looked reminiscent of a mini gun, but the firing mechanisms were partly spring loaded.

“It’s an auto gun that shoots wooden stakes,” volunteered Fred. “It’s something I made right after the last time that we faced Angelus.”

“You have got to be kidding me,” chuckled Faith. “This actually worked against him? And how come you never used it before?’

Angel spoke up, somewhat ashamedly. “Because…because I never had to.”

“Oh. Right. You’re human now.”

“…You say that like ‘human’ means that I’m walking syphilis, Faith. I’ve been human before, remember?”

“Yeah, but that means you’re way less useful in a fight. Especially with Crazy A.”

“Yeah, well, “Crazy A” wanted to kill me as quickly as possible, to get rid of any chance-” *argh* Angel winced and grabbed his right side was he was standing up. “…Get rid of any chance that we could be merged again. But Fred’s gun stopped him.”

“He’s got a Fang twin now too, you said, right?” asked Faith.

“Not that Gunn, this gun, Faith. And he’s not mine, not for a while now.” drolled Fred.

“Oh, right, ’cause you and Wes were startin’ the horizontal mamba…and then…right.” Fred just glared at her. Sensitivity was never Faith’s forte.

“Hey, look, I’m not one to judge or keep a scorecard, okay Fred? I just know two things: One, romantic attachments are a huge liability in a firefight. Two, since we’re facing Big Bads that are essentially you four with all the creamy goodness ripped out, we’re gonna have to come up with some new strategies. Because they’ll know everything that we do. Ya feel me?”

Angel and Fred greeted Faith’s accurate assessment with silence.

“So, I’ll take that as a ‘yes, we feel you.’ Look, Angel, without your-”

“I know Faith, I know, but I know how Angelus thinks. What he’ll do, where he’ll go. You still need me.”

“I know how you…he…thinks too. Except I’m not down for an Orpheus trip this time. And you need more automatic weapons, unless you think you can still handle yourself in hand-to-hand.”

“He can,” Gunn said, stern faced, as he walked back in the front door with Cordelia.

“And what about you, G Man, you feelin’ five by five these days? Oh, and, hello Cor.”

“Faith. What a pleasant surprise in a oh-shit-here-we-go-again kind of way.”

“The last time you filled out a job application, did you put snark as your first language, Cor?” laughed Faith.

Cordelia walked over to Angel and Fred. “Since we have Slutty of the SlayerPuff Girls all piped and primed here, hows about we get started on our new plan?”

Gunn kept looking around as he joined the others. “I’m all for that, because this last attack was just a little too close for comfort. And by comfort I mean I just got my life back I don’t wanna die again.”

“Well kids, first things first. You’re going to have to tell me the truth about where you are, and what you can do.” If Faith knew how to do anything, she knew how to assess and prepare for a brawl. There was a reason for that. “Angel we know, is human, but he has tactical knowledge that could help us. Still not sure about his Fight Club cred without vampire strength and speed. Fred?”

Fred just stared. Then she snarled and said, “I owe no explanation to any creature!”

The gang all stepped back in unison. Fred trembled. “Ah…ah’m sorry, ah don’t know where that came from,” her voice returning to normal. “Ah’ve had a constant headache since-”

“Oh, that’s just peachy!” interrupted Cordelia. “So now Fred has a 24 hour radio station in her head with her favorite DJ Cranky Blue playin’ the hits on her brain.”

Faith turned to her. “What, are you from 1970?”

“No…no,” grumbled Cordy. “Just…been hanging around old man Angel too long and I get my time periods mixed up sometimes since I saw so many of them when I was a higher being.”

Fred hesitantly asked, “What…what do you know about ‘Cranky Blue?’ You weren’t there.”

“Angel told me what happened.

And. Since we’re talking about who we used to be….Um. I…..I no longer have the visions.”

“You what?” asked Angel. This was the first he’d heard of this.

“You heard me.” Cordy lowered her voice and her head. “They’re gone.”

Fred spoke up. “Do you think you actually passed them to Groo?”

Groo. Cordy realized she hadn’t even really had time to grieve the loss of her personal champion. This was the second time she’d come back from being not really alive, and realized that it wasn’t any easier. “N-no. I’m pretty sure that Groo didn’t get them. I didn’t want to say anything until I was sure, but, I’ve watched lots of people getting hurt on the news, and I had no sense of any of it beforehand. The Powers have cut me off. I’m assuming for good. Since. You know.”

“Since you went all Nudist Camp and boned Angel’s son you mean?” said Faith.

“That wasn’t me! IT wasn’t!” screamed Cordelia in embarrassed frustration.

“Okay, okay, remember, I’m just sizin’ everything up. ‘Cause right now, we’re lookin’ more like the straight jacked gang than champions. So, so far Cordelia is visionless, her boyfriend’s dead, Angel is human, and Fred is still mentally connected to Bluesy in the Sky with Diamonds. Gunn?”

“I’m aight, as far as I can tell,” answered Gunn. “Although I’m still tryin’ ta figure out the legal precedent for killing yourself and being guilty of homicide and not suicide.”

“…Right. Because Wolfram & Hart scrambled your street marbles with some legal ones.”

“Somethin’ like that. …Yeah.” Gunn realized that he and Fred still hadn’t had ‘the talk.’ The one where he talked about how he let the sarcophagus through customs.

“Then, here’s what I have to say,” started Faith. The gang all turned to look at her.

“You’re all sittin’ this out.” =============================================================================================

Continued in Part 2 (coming soon)

The room was spinning. Angel thought it was him, that he was still dizzy.

But it was actually the room.

Spinning.

Wesley was chanting. Standing right in the middle of the Pentagram on the Hyperion floor, with Lilah right next to him. And he was turning red like Silas, the demon wizard lord that had killed him. He had put Fred’s things in a huge bowl, and mixed in some other artifacts that Angel wasn’t sure of. He sure wished that Lorne was here to help him make sense of all this.

And then Lilah started dancing. Really bad hip hop break dancing. In this spinning room.

Angel said, “What the hell…?”

“Exactly,” cooed Lilah. “Don’t worry Big Boy it’s all a part of the show. The spell requires it. So just shut up and let me get funky and we’ll be all done here, okay?”

Angel remembered the taste of her blood as he drank it when he was Angelus. He wished he’d eaten all of her.

The room kept spinning, and then started glowing with this really eerie blue light. And there was this noise. Faint at first, and Angel wasn’t quite sure what it was, but he thought it might be…

and then Illyria appeared right in the middle of Wesley’s circle of light. Except she was trapped there. Four feet in the air above him.

“Angel,” said Illyria. “Wesley.” She felt the pain come back into her face. And then she felt anger. “What are you doing, Wesley, what are these magicks? I do not recognize them.” Wesley ignored her and kept chanting, and he started drawing some ancient symbols on to both his own forehead and the floor. Lilah looked like a bad 80′s movie.

Illyria started banging against her light prison. “Wesley! What are you doing! WESLEY!”

That’s when Angel realized what that noise was. It was getting louder.

It was screaming. It was Fred’s voice, screaming. But coming from…where? And then he realized, it was coming out of Illyria’s stomach.

Then there were other voices. Other faces started somehow appearing directly above Wesley…he saw Gunn, Connor, Cordy, even Doyle. They kept phasing in and out of view. The lightshow was increasing as a bubble of white energy started to radiate outwards from where Wesley and Lilah were, and the whole room began to tremble. There were dozens, maybe hundreds of voices now, all screaming, no, shrieking, but Angel heard Fred’s loud and clear above all of them.

The wind got louder. The voices did too. The white and blue lights coalesced and filled the entire room, and it was shaking worse than the last LA earthquake. Angel’s whole sense of equilibrium was gone; this was a whole new kind of vertigo. When the lights started peaking, he figured that this was it.

Illyria locked her gaze upon Wesley. Angel could barely make out her expression, couldn’t tell if she was angry or sad. It seemed that she was being…ruptured…from the inside out. Yet another heavy dose of irony, but if she was in pain, she showed none of it. She looked at Wesley and said,

“Wesley…? Why. can’t. I. stay?”

Angel saw a single tear dribble down Wesley’s completely orange-red face and then it all exploded.

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOMSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH*

===============================================================================================

Angel woke up. He didn’t know how long he’d been out. He turned to his left and saw Groo’s body, still there. Still with the big black claw in his chest. Still smiling, in a pool of his own blood, with those impossibly blue eyes wide open. Still seemingly staring into Cordelia’s face. No sign of Wes or Lilah.

“A-Angel…?”

He spun around. He couldn’t believe what he saw.

It was Fred. She was completely naked, but it was her.

He rushed over to the desk, and grabbed a blanket, and put it over her.

“Fred…” said Angel. “Fred. It..it worked. I…”

Fred started trembling and crying. She looked up at him. “Handsome man. *cough* Saved me. Again.” Angel smiled in spite of himself. “Groo! Oh my god, what happened? Groo!” Fred shrieked as she saw Groo’s impaled body on the floor.

“That’s just it Fred, it wasn’t just me. Actually, it was-”

Just then, Wesley and Lilah reappeared. Literally appeared, right in front of Angel and a still trembling Fred, except they were completely spirits this time.

“WESLEY!” …Wesley! ….Wesley….” Fred started to sob uncontrollably, and doubled over in pain. Wesley reached out to comfort her, and his hand passed right through her. He held his head down.

Lilah smiled…kind of like the Grinch did when he thought about stealing Christmas. Lilah wondered if Wolfram and Hart ever got their money back from that fiasco. She spoke. “This was part of the deal, all. If Wesley was to successfully do the Twin Spells of Separation and Reincarnation, part of that price was that he’s mine forever. And I mean that literally.” Lilah held out a deed to Wesley’s soul. Angel and Fred just stared at it.

“I wanted you to have your life back Fred. If there was any way at all…even if I could never be a part of it,” Wesley whispered.

“Wesley…” Fred started. Fred blinked a few times as if she thought she could make herself wake up from a very bad nightmare. ”I didn’t…I…” and then Fred said…”SUMthin’ about all this ain’t raht,” with her Texas twang in full force.

“You’re darn tootin’ there Lil’ Lady!” mused Lilah. “You suckers still don’t get that there is a price for every potion, a cost for every incantation.”

Angel realized in that moment that he felt different…he felt….human.

Lilah smiled as the realizations began to dawn upon Angel and Fred. “That’s right sports fans, I can see that you’re figuring it out. While I’m fucking Wesley’s brains out for all eternity(picture that when you’re in the shower masturbating Fred), there has been some correspondent evil let loose for bringing this soul back. Fred’s time was done, and none of you wanted to accept that. So, the scales, they are a-balancin’.”

“Enough with your games, Lilah.” Angel tried to morph into vamp mode, but he couldn’t.

“Feeling a little singular there, Liam?

Since I have to spell it out, kiddies, here it is,” said Lilah. “Upstairs right now, sleeping away, you will find both one Mr. Charles Gunn, and one Miss Cordelia Chase. Bonuses, as it were.” Wesley looked up at Lilah. He was stunned as well.

Angel’s jaw tightened. Fred put her hand over her mouth. And dropped her blanket. Blushing she rushed to pick it back up.

“I”ll never understand why you wanted a Diet Vanilla ice cream cone, Wes,” drolled Lilah. “Anyway, Angel, you’ve got them all back. Gunn. Fred. Even Cordy. But here’s the deal:

Their evil selves are loose on the world right now. As is yours.“

“…Wh-whaat?” said Fred.

Lilah rolled her eyes. “Evil Cordy, or JasmiCordy as some of you called her. Vampire Gunn. Illyria. And, Angelus. They’re out there. In Los Angeles. Right now. Although I doubt Big Blue is gonna stay for long.”

“You have your Fred, I most definitely have my Wesley, you have your friends, you even have your humanity. But all that evil doesn’t just go away, darlin’. It’s out. And your team is responsible for it being out. Whether you have the cajones to fight it any more remains to be seen, but that’s not my problem.”

Wesley cursed her. “You evil, lying, selfish, bitch of a-”

“Ah ah ah, Wes,” interrupted Lilah. “You’re just putting on a show for your Fluffy here, because you want her last memories of you to be noble.” Lilah’s gaze towards Wesley narrowed sharply as her voice lowered. “Don’t pretend that you didn’t know that this was a part of the deal. As is our eternity together.”

Wesley looked at Fred. “Fred…I…I had to, I-”

Fred didn’t say anything. She just looked at him and Lilah. Finally she spoke. “I….I don’t want to be responsible for…”

“For all the death that’s coming. True dat, but you are. All of you are,” finished Lilah. “It’s time for us to go. And Angel, you’ve got some house guests to attend to. How long do you think it’ll be before Angelus gets here, hmmm? You’ll have to figure out a way to fight him on the outside of you now. So will Gunn when he sees his bloodsucking twin. Good luck with that. Oh, and Evil Cordy? She hasn’t forgotten screwing your son, or all the ways you tried to kill her. I would imagine she’s on her way to find Connor now. I can understand never getting over a good fuck, tho.” Lilah beamed at Wesley. “So long, Team Angel. It’s always a pleasure doing business with you.”

And with that, Lilah and Wesley shimmered in the air, and disappeared.

Angel understood why he was so wiped, and still in so much pain. No more demon inside to help him heal. Fred looked like she did when he had first found her. Frazzled. She was still trying to digest everything that had just happened.

Just then Lilah’s face popped back into view.

She looked at Angel.

“Oh, and…You’re Welcome.”

She vanished again.

Illyria stood on the rooftop. She mused at how Wesley’s weapon only had a temporary effect.

Perhaps that was on purpose, she thought to herself. To save her life, and appease Angel.

She knew that her power was returning. But she also wondered if history would repeat itself, and if her body…Fred’s body…would overload again.

The Chinese people were fascinating creatures. She had grown tired of Los Angeles months ago, and had begun portal hopping as her abilities were revived. She still was bound to Earth for some reason, but that was probably only temporary too.

Wesley.

…Wesley.

She then cursed herself for being mixed with humanity. She was eventually going to punish Knox for doing the ritual wrong. Just leaving the sarcophagus out like that was not the plan. Illyria was never supposed to be reborn inside of a living human woman, she was supposed to be ‘hatched’ in a Zynthar Chrysalis, and that matrix would’ve allowed her to regain her true form. And power. Knox had to know that as much as he’d studied the ancient texts. But for some reason, his obsession with Fred had made him decide that she was to be the vessel. A completely flawed, pale, three dimensional, human vessel. Illyria had needed Knox to help her orient herself to this new existence(and seeing through one pair of eyes) and to find the portal with which to raise her army. After that…there would’ve been divine punishment for Knox.

Then Wesley had killed him.

Wesley.

Both Wesley and Knox seemed obsessed with Fred. But Wesley seemed to be the only one that made Illyria hurt when she thought of him. The irony was that after Drogan was killed, Illyria was able to find the location of her true rebirthing chamber. But without Knox, or a Qwa’ha Xahn in general, she could not perform the ritual on her own. And she had begun her search for new Acolytes. Which is why she was in China. But this world was not like the one she knew, and people seemed to worship…sex. In her day they used sex to worship many of the Old Ones, but now it seemed that they worshiped sex in and of itself. Humans, she thought. Always turning in on themselves to their own destruction.

And speaking of, Illyria still wasn’t used to the idea of having just one vagina.

=================================================================================================

Just get in, and get out, Angel thought to himself. Just get in and get out.

But he couldn’t help but stop and stare at the suns. This feeling was intoxicating. 

The distant cry of something drooly, green and ugly snapped him out of it, and he moved forward.

There it was. The cave. Fred’s cave.

He remembered their time here. Fred had become more like a little sister to him, but at first, he certainly enjoyed her devotion and attention. But she wasn’t short or blonde, so-

Just kidding, Angel thought to himself. …Right?

He found it all very very quickly. Some of her old potato sack dresses. Some with her blood on it…and probably his too. Her chalk that she wrote on the wall with here. Her cooking pots. Fred had even made a constellation mock up out of rocks.

He took that too.

With all the items stuffed in the bag that he’d brought, he started back. Smooth sailing.

That’s when he heard the sound. Behind him.

Holy shit, he thought. We didn’t see this before.

Some…thing…that was 9 feet tall, black, slimy, and had five legs was charging him. With a mouthful of teeth. Because, Angel thought, god forbid there’s not a million things on every world that want to eat you. Ironic that, coming from a vampire.

He knew what he had to do. He had to let the demon out. There’s no way his human self was gonna beat this thing.

He took a deep breath.

=============================================================================================

Groo looked at his watch. He loved Earth technology. It took him some time to figure it out, but he loved it. He had seen something on…what was it? Ah yes the In-Ter-Net, something that Cordelia had called “porn.” She seemed to be fascinated and disgusted by it at the same time. It wasn’t anything Groo hadn’t seen before, but for some reason humans spent many hours of their time watching it. His Princess enjoyed dressing up like she did when they first met, and reenacting their time in Pylea. Groo had wondered if those women out front that were asking him for money were like these porn women from the land of In-Ter-Net. They sure had wanted to Comshuk very badly.

Time to open the portal. Groo stood back.

“Frmznn mrfglljk jklpmnb bzsrwdfgr!”

Lights. Noise. Wind. Screaming. The library history section melted and morphed.

Something jumped out…was it Angel?

===============================================================================================

Wesley and Lilah “walked” around the front desk at the Hyperion.

“I’m positively creaming over your duplicitousness lover. Not telling Angel the whole truth? That’s normally my job.”

Wesley said nothing. He just continued to stare at the floor.

“You know that even if this works, she’ll never-”

Wesley yelled. “I know, Lilah! I know! But I had to try, dammit. And you knew that I would.”

“For an unpredictable man that gets off on fucking and beheading me, you still make me laugh, you know that?”

Wesley managed a small half-grin. “He who laughs last, Lilah.”

“And what does that mean, lover? You planning a double-cross on our double-cross? Does that make it a quadruple cross?”

Wesley said nothing and just stared at the floor.

“Don’t worry lover, I’ve beheaded people too. Although pretty much not the ones I was shagging. Most of the time.”

At that moment, the front door burst open. Wesley and Lilah turned to see Groo stumbling in carrying Angel.

And Groo had a long black claw right through his sternum.

Angel, out of breath, collapsed to the floor, as did Groo. He looked up at Wesley and said, “Help him, Wes….*cough* you’ve got to help him.”

Wesley’s voice was filled with ice. “He wasn’t a part of our deal.”

Angel looked down at his left hand. At least there was one bonus. Somehow turning into the demon in Pylea had made it regenerate. Angel roared. “I don’t wanna hear it Wes, I needed him to get back to Pylea to get Fred’s stuff, and now he needs help. Help him dammit!” Angel would’ve done so himself if he still wasn’t so weak.

Groo spoke. “Fear…fear not, Angel. This is…(Groo spat blood)…this is what I wanted.”

And then Groo died. With a smile on his face. He very softly spoke the word, “Princess” and then he was gone.

“He let himself be killed, Angel,” said Wesley. “He’s the Groosalugg, he overcomes all things. He could’ve beaten it. He let that thing kill him so he could be with Cordelia.”

Angel was too tired to argue. “Just…just get on with it, then.” He handed Wesley the bag with Fred’s Pylean remnants in it, and Lilah got that smirk on her face again. Schoolgirly, even.

“Hold on to your ass, vampire,” she grinned.

“You ain’t seen nothin‘ yet.”

Concluded in Part 4

He couldn’t believe it.

He was driving…no, speeding, and felt like an idiot.

Somehow Wesley and Lilah’s speech had worked. He couldn’t tell if they were ‘together’ in the afterlife, or whatever they were, and he couldn’t figure why Lilah would help Wesley get Fred back. Until he realized that it meant that Wesley could never have Fred again, and would probably turn to Lilah for comfort. Like he did when they were both alive. Could ghosts comshuk?

Angel realized that he really no longer believed in redemption. That wasn’t what this was.

This was straight up uncut guilt.

He did what he had to do to protect his son, but if there was any chance, any chance that he could let the others go back to a life without him, he had to take it. Although once he saw that Gunn had actually been turned, he tried to kill him. Spare him what he knew was coming next.

But Gunn somehow stopped him; must’ve been all those years of fighting alongside of him. He knew Angel’s fighting style and anticipated every strike. Gunn then ran off, and promptly went on a killing spree in his old neighborhood. He knew that Gunn was now a soulless thing, a dead, hungry, damned thing, like he used to be(still was?), but he didn’t count on Gunn’s vampire self being so much like Angelus.

Gunn was already angry…now he had a demon inside to feed it.

Stop. Introspection over. He was there. At the library.

He walked in, went up to the second floor, to the same spot they had gone before, and waited.

He didn’t have to wait long.

“Angel, my friend, I have come in response to your summons. …How may I be of assistance?”

Groo. Always irritatingly polite for such an invincible warrior.

“Groo…here it is. I need to go back to Pylea. But I need an anchor in this world this time. I was told that if you open the portal here, but I go in alone, and you reopen it later, I can come back.”

“That indeed is possible…I am wondering…who told you this? And what is your quest?”

Angel sighed. Patience was never his strong suit. “I don’t have time to explain it all Groo, I just need you to trust me. And I need you to be here to reopen this portal 24 hours from now.”

“Alright my friend, if that is your wish. May I ask tho…what should I do if you are not back?”

That indeed was Angel’s secret thought. If this crazy plan from Wesley turned out to be just another joke from the Powers That Screw, he’d hoped to transform into his true demon self into Pylea and just stay there. Maybe that would help him forget everything. Plus the added bonus of, no burning up in the sun.

“Then, just…leave.” Angel frowned. “Because it won’t matter anyway. Go back to, whatever life you had.”

“I…I have no life without my Princess, Angel. You know that. But…she never was really my Princess was she? I guess we both know that, too.”

“Great, well we’re just two mighty champions who have lost our women and all our friends! Just great!”

Angel noticed that Groo actually never stops smiling. Like, ever.

“Angel…if I may say. I have never seen you so…defeated. And I mean no offense my friend. You just seem like you have no fight left in you.”

“Oh, I got fight, I got buckets of fight! Never ending mountains of fight! But who exactly am I fighting for?”

“The helpless. You know. Your battle cry. ‘We help the helpless.’ “

“Yeah. Well.

Count the bodies of my friends. Did I help them?”

Groo shook his head. “The Angel that I know would never give up. As a true champion.”

“Are you calling me a quitter, Groo? As I seem to remember, you left your kingdom and ran to Cordy when things stopped being so fairy in your tale!”

Groo stood there in silence. After an eternity of seconds, he said. “That is right, Angel. I did leave. But the truth is, you and I are two different kinds of champions. I only became one because of my freakish birth and the fact that I could not be killed. And then I met my Princess and found some meaning. You fight because you are trying to make up for a past that you cannot make up for.”

Angel’s face twisted with dark feral fury. “And what do you know about my past, Groo!?”

“My Princess shared many things with me.” Angel thought to himself, Great, just what I need, another visual.  Groo continued, “And it was the passion with which she shared them that let me know that it was you she truly loved.”

Angel glared. Cordy’s death. Fred’s death. He often wondered which one hurt the most. Because they both had been raped from the inside out, and he couldn’t stop it. Either time. He snapped back into the moment.

And kind of felt better. Because he realized he actually wasn’t giving up, or else, why would he be here?

“I….I have a chance to save Fred, Groo. It’s complicated. But you’re right. I have to try. Even if it’s a futile attempt.”

” ‘Fu-tile?’ “

Groo never had quite gotten the hang of Google. “Never mind. Just. Help me out.”

Groo glanced down at Angel. “And you will do all of this one handed?” Angel nodded. “As you wish. And, as you would say, Good Fuck.”

“Luck. It’s ‘luck’ Groo, not ‘fuck.’

“Oh. Of course.”

Groo stepped back. He opened the book. Angel braced himself.

“Przl grbjdh nf stsr zxcvbnnm rtfsdqwklprbz!”

The history section began to melt and warp. Lightning flashed. Lots of sound and wind. The portal opened. Angel ran towards it, and jumped in.

"What cho dumbass doin' back HERE, Cow Vamp?"

It was all or nothing now.

Continued in Part 3

“Angel’s Avengers”(hell that still had a ring) had been decimated, and Angel had never really recovered. He looked down at where his left hand used to be. Wondered if the demon that ate it in the alley that night would’ve gotten all of him if Spike hadn’t intervened. But in some small way, he also felt that he somehow deserved it. He’d spent the better part of his long life taking people apart, often small pieces at a time…poetic justice, it would seem.

“Vampire regeneration spells,” Angel thought to himself. “Probably too dangerous.”

Then he laughed. Because he couldn’t think of one spell that he’d tried in the past that hadn’t screwed everything up. The last time he felt this low, this despondent, this…crazed…he ended up making a son. With Darla. He’d thought several times about patching things up with Nina, but…he finally accepted that his curse was not only to carry death with him, but to know the helplessness that comes with being unable to truly change one’s nature. He had finally, finally, realized, after that night in the alley, that even if he slew every demon from here to the Shrimp Dimension, everyone that he loved and touched would die if they threw in with him. Horribly.

Plus he reckoned if he and Nina had a kid that would trigger an apocalypse for sure.

Or maybe just another really bad Underworld sequel.

So, there he sat. On the steps. On the first floor of the Hyperion. Alone. Hearing every sound, every spider web being spun, every (delicious?) rat scurrying behind the walls, doing what he did best. Brooding until someone else died. He realized that having a soul made him kind of a Reverse Angelus…Angelus killed with malice, directly and on purpose, but Angel kills slowly, by association, with the best of intentions. Too bad he couldn’t get drun-

“How long are you going to just sit there?” Wesley interrupted him.

Angel looked up…and then let his head fall back down again. He’d honestly thought he was hallucinating. Or maybe he just wanted to ignore this…whatever ‘it’ was. ‘Cause it sure as hellmouth wasn’t Wesley.

Was it?

Wesley…floated…closer to him. “I was able to get away from the Wolfram & Hart building with some…leftover magic, shall we say. But I shan’t be able to do so again. I need you to listen to me Angel. Listen to me now.”

Angel looked up and this time locked his eyes on Wesley’s. He still didn’t say anything.

“There’s a way to bring her back. A way that I didn’t know while I was alive. A way that I discovered only once I knew what my contract with Wolfram & Hart meant.”

“It’s true, tall, dark and greasy. There’s layers upon layers where we live now.”

That sultry voice…coming from behind Wesley. It couldn’t be.

Lilah.

She walked up and stood immediately to Wesley’s left. She smirked, with that look that was not so much human, but more like a coiled snake that was ready to eat your babies.

Lilah actually had eaten one of her own ovaries when she first signed on to Wolfram & Hart but no need to tell the boys that.

“I told Wesley that you wouldn’t believe him, that he was wasting his time. And no, I know what you’re thinking Mr. Broody. There’s nothing in this for me.”

Angel sighed and put his head in his hands. Well, his one good hand and his left nub. Maybe if he found Willow.

“Angel, this is one last chance. The man I know wouldn’t turn his back on that, no matter what.”

Angel’s head snapped up. “At what cost Wesley? Or whoever you are. How many times do we have to be played like fiddles? The life we had as a team….is gone, and I’m in no hurry to try and get it back.”

“Ah yes. You had to kill Darla. Then she came back. And then you gave her a child. And then she killed herself. And Buffy of course you can’t be with because you can’t be happy. And Cordelia. She of course was also impregnated to death. “

Angel snarled, his vampire face morphing into place, and lunged at Wesley.

And sailed right through him, crashing into the weapons cabinet.

Lilah started laughing. “You’re kinda slow on the uptake for someone that’s been alive for decades by the bunches, but that’s okay Sparky, there’s still $200 waiting for you if you pass ‘GO.’ “

Stumbling out of the broken weapons case, Angel shook himself and glowered at Lilah. He turned to face her. “What do you want?”

Lilah just grinned, and started to speak; Wesley interrupted her. “…What I was trying to say was…(Wesley’s jaw tightening with that deadpan-foot-in-the-mouth way of delivering bad news that he had)…that I know you probably don’t want to think about the loves of your life. But that’s not true for all of us. I’m here, Angel,

because Fred can live again.

…but only if you listen. very. carefully.”

Continued in Part 2