(filed under Scorch’s review of Young Justice:Denial)
"This ain't what you think, young' uns."
It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s the first true filler of the season. I have to say, I was really less than enchanted with this episode, because very little of it makes sense, so it’s clearly more a writer’s episode than a fan one, unless you happen to totally geek out over Dr. Fate.
I don’t. 
So the basic premise is that old man Kent Nelson has gone off the grid in N’awlins. He goes to a faux fortune teller, Madame Xanadu, to try and talk to Inza, his long lost love, and he reminds me a lot of Victor Fries by 
constantly looking at that picture of his beloved. Turns out Xanadu is a Scooby Doo scam, what a shock. *eye roll* and he gets stolen-ported away. And his magic cane too! I’m already bored.
So the boys are sparring and the girls are giggling, playing matchmaker, and again the setup is questionable…because basically Red Tornado seemingly wasn’t going to assign them anything. They asked for it, and he gives them something totally out of their league. Pun intended. This repeating premise for every adventure is getting kind of old, but whatevs. It turns out that Fate has been missing for almost a month, and RT isn’t quite sure what the deal is, but he says that it’s unwise to leave the Helmet of Fate unguarded. Um. What happened on all the other times that Kent has been on a ‘walkabout?’ Wouldn’t he have failsafes for that kind of thing? So then RT produces the key to Fate’s castle *brrrzt<record scratch>* Why wouldn’t he send another member of the league more suited to such a mission, like Diana, Zatanna, or Captain Marvel, three magic based beings? Why the HELL would he send the kids over there? *facepalm* Also, they can’t just communicate with the Fortress of Fatetitude? It doesn’t have any cool telecom screens like every other superhero hideout? …Yah they gotta work harder to come up with more logical ways to deploy the team.
Let me also say the Miss Martian’s bio ship is everything that Wonder Woman’s off laughed at invisible plane should be. Just wanted to throw that out there. So it seems that the heart of this episode is Kid Flash’s scoffery at all things magical, along with a subtext of Kent Nelson not being willing to fully relinquish OR accept his responsibilities when it comes to the Spirit of Fate. That’s a double dose of boring if you ask me, because they haven’t established enough depth for Wally, of all people, to legitimately have this kind of existential and metaphysical crisis. It’s always been cool that the Flash family’s powers have been rooted in real world pseudo-science, but in terms of Wally’s character on this show, he’s the comic relief/bumbling/hyper horny/try too hard teenager that all boys try to forget that they once were. So I have less than no emotional resonance with his vision quest in this episode; the thing that rings true, as usual, is his obsession with Miss Martian. That’s it. Kent is a character we’re just now meeting, so again, there’s not enough of a connection there for us to care about him.
So apparently Kent….who we discover could at any point Fate out, but just chooses not to…is being tortured by some of the lamest ass villains I’ve seen in a while. Abra Kadabra(really?) and Klarion the Witch Boy. Um ‘scuse me a sec.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!! LAME!!!
There is nothing even remotely threatening about these villains, and you have to have some kind of sense of danger, or evil, or something to have an engaging story. These two look like they belong on The Cape. *shudder* So anyway, they’re getting off on punishing this old man,
I'm so lame I don't even deserve a caption.
to make him betray all his magically delicious secrets, when the heroes show up, out of costume(except for Superboy) which again takes me out of it, because if I wanted to watch heroes out of costume I’da watched Heroes. Even the voice actors for these ‘villains’ sound irritating beyond belief. So anyway somehow Aqualad dopes out that this is a test of faith…and then proceeds to stick the key in the exact spot where the invisible door is. Okay. And again they beat us over the head with how Wally is tryin’ so hard to impress Miss Martian with his belief in the mystic arts, and absolutely nobody buys it.
"Who dat?"
A hologram of Kent shows up, Wally says the unmagic words, and I have to ask, why exactly wouldn’t the tower recognize the sidekicks of the JLA? The only two of them that are actually new to the scene are Superboy and Miss Martian…why wouldn’t the Tower know about the rest? Batman’s too thorough to leave those kinds of details out. But whatever.
And then…*sigh*…yet another dumbass thing happens. That would be the floor caving in, and the gang falling. Um. Miss Martian can fly. I hate when this happens in cartoons, it’s just like in live action when someone is a ghost, and everything is intangible but their feet. So she realizes that halfway
"Hello Megan, you can fly!!"
down and grabs Wal-Mu, Artemis does a Robin(still can’t stand her) and grabs Aqualad, and Superboy comes to a screeching halt with his feet dipping in the lava. And he screams in pain. I don’t quite get that. Is he invulnerable or not? They need to more clearly define his powers. We’re just about halfway through the episode, and nothing of any real import has happened. So they do show that Aqualad and Megan would be struggling with that heat, which is good, but then Artemis, who’s only been on the team for two episodes now, gets in Wally’s face. Um. Who is this bitch and why does she think she can snap on Wally? Now, the other good thing that happens in this scene is the explanation of both Kid Flash’s powers and perspective, but it just falls flat to me emotionally. He’s not the ‘deep’ type.
They’re going all Matrix Reloaded in that each door opens to a new place…but nothing has happened yet. It’s all very wild goose chasey. Now the team’s in snow. Great. The punk ass villains are still marching Kent around torturing him. Great. Then all of a sudden Artipuss shows up with Wally, Kent uses his magic Yoda cane to escape…and then they just casually ride the Matrix elevator up to freakin’ wherever. Pacing, this episode has not. Tainted by the Stupid Side of the Force it is.
A Lord of Chaos…that’s what Klarion is. He’s a spoiled brat with an intensely bad hair cut. Impossible to take seriously. So then they all magic port to where the Helmet of Fate is just floating there…again, that makes no sense. Why the hell would Kent leave it out like that, floating around? The Castle’s defenses obviously aren’t worth jack shit. Why wouldn’t he have it somewhere that only he could reach, locked and coded to only respond to his voice, retina scan, fingerprint? Ah well he must’ve gone to the Superman school of how to guard your crib. So Kent and Wally have a heart to heart…and Kent tells Wally to have faith. Okay. So Wally, of course, puts the helmet on. Which no one should be able to do but the carrier of the Helmet. But whatevs. So Nabooboo, the ‘real’ Dr. Fate springs into action, but is somehow having trouble with Witch Boy. Oh whatEVER.
"Lemme tell you what's up inside this Helmet head party."
So they fight fight fight….until Fate seemingly figures out that KlarionLips needs the cat to anchor him in this physical plane. Wouldn’t he already have known that, is this the first time that they’ve met? Kent seems to know who he is. Whatever, there’s no internal logic to this episode. Fate strips Kadabra down to his underwear, Superboy knocks him out, and Kent and Fate seem to have a bit of a discussion about whether or not Fate should keep control of Wally’s body. Wally all of a sudden has become a believer, and Fate and Nelson seem to agree on what to do, and Kent tells Wally he needs a woman that is his match. But he morphs before he can name who it is…Artemis or Megan.
And then Wally….back at Mount Justice….PUTS THE FRIGGIN’ HELMET OF FATE ON HIS TROPHY/SOUVENIR SHELF NEXT TO CHESHIRE’S MASK. *sigh* They spend a whole episode talking about how powerful this thing is, and that’s where Wally puts it? *headdesk* Wally talks to Artemis, remembers Fate’s words, but chases after Megan. Again.
Pure filler. Rates a big ol’ ‘meh’ from me. Let’s hope that next episode has more substance.
"Yeah I know I'm a weirdo but that's what happens when you gets no pussy for millenia at a time."
