Young Justice: Terrors_S1_Ep11

At last! They’re back!

And with a freaking vengeance. Continuity & shared universe gives me a geekgasm on 11 every time I watch this show, I wish the live action divisions thought the same way. *headdesk*

I have to admit, I really don’t like how much they’ve depowered Superman on this series, but that seems to be par for the course these days. I also don’t know how comfortable I am with Batman sending the kids in with this level of danger in a mission. He takes far too many chances with them as far as I’m concerned. I love how they tied in just about every episode so far, starting with the first one and the ice villains uniting. Good to see there was an ultimate purpose. Amanda Waller was just a lil’ more ghetto than usual in this one, and this was damn near Shawshank, but that’s okay. Kinda strange that Captain Cold never said anything.

Good to see all of the monsters in this as well; I love this show!

So finally, Superboy and M’Gann get their groove on, and it’s really cute, in a damn they’re just teenagers and they’re gonna break up kind of way. I’m just constantly amazed at the level of detail that’s put into this show, and it simultaneously gives me great joy to watch it, and it makes me lose even more respect for lazy writing on other shows.

Didn’t care for their version of the Riddler. Felt more like that was “Riddler Jr.” Mr. Freeze however is one of my all time favorite Bat-Villains, and it’s funny how Ojo recognized Superboy and kept getting smacked down before he could out him. And Hugo Strange and Papa Icicle are in cahoots with this all powerful light. Dr. Light I’m sure.

Well thought out, well executed, great emotional pay off, and significant things happened. WIN!

Young Justice: Targets_S1_E10

(filed under Scorch’s Review of Young Justice: Targets)

So Red Arrow is his usual arrogant self, and I have to say that love it. Not the fact that he’s arrogant, but the fact that he’s written consistently. Conflict and Peace talks in Rhelasia, with Cat Grant on the scene reporting, always good to see her.

One of the things that took me out of it early on tho, was the fact that Cheshire was unbelievably sloppy and careless, which is out of character for her. Standing in PLAIN SIGHT with a ROCKET LAUNCHER? Attacking agents openly, where should could be FILMED? *smh* Not the approach of a master covert assassin.  And the mystery mediator is…..Lex Luthor! Lex was deliciously smoothly evil, except I didn’t like the voice actor voicing him. I’d rather have Clancy Brown any day. But still, a very interesting set up, and Red Arrow’s cockiness continues to get him in trouble.

So Megan & Connor are on their way to school for the first time, and of course teen hormones & hijinks are afoot. J’onn’s human disguise is African American(like Smallville), and Megan transforms herself into a true ginger! Love it. Conner is still kind of reluctant about everything in life, and of course, even in cartoons, we have to have shirtless dudes. *snicker* Anyway, a swooning and stumbling, off to school they go. I’m just trying to imagine the logistics of their mating rituals. And Conner notices again that Superman isn’t there to send him off and wish him well. I sure wish Clark would step up sometime soon.

So Reddy McFreddy clumsily lets Cheshire escape…but I noticed there were like, no guards. Anyway, after SportsMaster rescues her, we find out that the real villain is Ras Al Ghul, and they pronounce it like Batman did on Batman:TAS. Coolness. Cheshire & Sporty seem to make short work of Junior Arrow, as they should…he just can’t seem to understand that he’s in over his head and needs a team.

Back at Dawson’s Cre-I mean,  Happy Harbor High, …holy shit that’s WENDY & MARVIN! BwaaaaaaahHAHAHAHAHA!! Are you KIDDING me? What a righteous wink. Conner is such a one note character it’s ridiculous, but I guess that’s what they want. He & Megan’s interactions are starting to remind me of John and Cameron. Also, Conner faces off against Mal Duncan, another DC character, and the cheerleaders are named the Bumblebees, a huge ass wink to his girlfriend(who’s standing there drooling over Conner), eventual wife, and long time Titans character, Bumblebee.

So Redster gets his ass kicked off the roof, and the villains make the classic mistake of not making sure that he’s dead, which is always how the heroes survive, and RA finally calls for some help. I’m also assuming that Lex’s female help is Mercy Graves. One of my favorite characters.

The history teacher is Snapper Carr! Holy crap my eyes are hurting from all these winks, but Marv Wolfman lubs him some obscure or forgotten DC characters, that’s fer damn sure. And finally a nod to the class division among Martians….and as we all know, M’gann is actually a white Martian pretending to be a Green. Which will one day erupt into awesome story conflict, I’m sure.

So we’re finally at the summit conference, Lex sounds like the snake in the garden when he talks, and the Rhelysia northers & southers are trying to come to grips…when….all hell breaks loose! Geish Cheshire(say THAT three times fast) has a cart bomb, and Aqualad water force field protects the diplomats. Suhweet. And also Geishire rats out RA by mentioning that he thinks the other ‘sidekicks’ aren’t in his league….which distracts Aqualad. Tension among the heroes is always good. Luthor just stares.

I’m sorry, having Megan become a cheerleader just felt really lame. It’s like, even in animation we have to have hot high school cheerleaders. Just felt really cliche, like even cartoon girls must be exploited. And every teen show, or super show HAS to have a cheerleader. Oh well. And in terms of her infatuation with Conner, it’s just that we’ve seen this story before. Eventually he’s going to give in to some feelings for her, they might even lose their virginity to each other, J’onn will freak out, Batman will again plead with Clark to step in, they’ll have a tearful break up, yada yada.

Okay a few things about this next scene:

1) Note to any Hollywood types? Cheshire is closer to what Chun Li should’ve been. Take note. And don’t hire Kristin Kreuk next time.

2) It’s just amazing how Aquaman can be so lame, and Aqualad can be so badass. Just amazing.

3) Mercy’s a robot?

So SportsMaster reveals that he has an inside source, which by all counts is Artemis, his daughter, but we’ll see how that pans out. So Lex gets the credit, even tho RA & Aqualad did the work, but whatever, and Aqualad says he’s gonna check out the possibility of there being a traitor. He doesn’t call Red Arrow out on his insult, but rather makes him admit that he does have a begrudged respect for the team. Meh. I’d'a thrown it in his face.

Holy set ups Batman, Lex & Ra’s were working together, and Ra’s is either an agent of Light, or he’s behind it all. Hmmm! Belly Intelesting!

Still thoroughly enjoying this show, although I do wish they’d get on with the storyline. It’s inching forward, slowly, I’d like to see something major happen soon, but still, quite fun to watch.

Young Justice: Bereft_S1_Ep9

(filed under Scorch’s review of Young Justice: Bereft)

So the gang wakes up, and doesn’t know who, or where, they are.  Always an interesting premise. What’s not interesting is Superboy’s Hulk imitation. It’s really getting kind of old, so I hope they begin to develop him in other ways, and soon. He drops in like a nuke on Miss Martian and begins to attack her on sight like a mindless mope.

I am continually loving Robin’s intelligence, training, preparation, and impulsiveness. He is characterized so well on this show. They’re also forcing the Kid Flash/Artemis love/hate thing too much. Too cliche and we get it already. Kid Flash and Artemis get hunted by local tanks, and Kid Flash is again woefully underutilized.  Interesting that Artemis basically gives away her storyline by confessing that her dad(SportsMaster) wants her to kill Kid Flash, and probably her other teammates too. That’s pretty much the whole first part of the ep, the gang running, fighting, remembering…until we see Kaldur. That’s the first real sense of danger, because we know that dehydration will kill him, and we have no idea how long he’s been laying there. Superboy is captured, but what else is new?

Robin tracks his own GPS marker, still not remembering why, but when he’s confronted, he kicks all opposition ass, just like Batman. He’s incredible. The rest of the gang shows up to aid in the fight. Miss Martian does another creepy/cool thing by inviting her team into her mind, so they can help piece together what’s happening from the six month memory loss. Robin and Artemis have the most to hide, as their identities are unknown to the gang at large, but Robin seems to have no problem with the probe. Artemis warns MM to only view the last six months, so perhaps she does remember something about her secret covert Judas mission.

Blah blah, Queen Bee, Bialiya, rogue state, covert mission, radio silence ordered by Batman…..Aqualad! They realize they need to get to Kaldur, and fast. Meanwhile Superboy is a combination of Clark and A.C. from Smallville, because he is once again, captured, shirtless, and being shocked/interrogated. This turn of events sets up an interesting internal conflict with the gang, as Kaldur is dying and needs water, but MM is more concerned with and determined to rescue Superboy. It’s kind of lame sauce, as M’gann would be able to super speed to the bio ship, but whatever, still interesting that she’s so committed to Conner.

M’gann charges in, and is confronted by Psimon, the architect of the gang’s memory loss. Nothing scarier than a rogue telepath, because they kinds of things that they can do are unspeakable. They begin a Psi Plane fight, and we see what happened with the first memory loss. The rest of the gang also runs into something that only happens with Spider-Man and on Star Trek…resource depletion. Kid Flash is out of energy because he’s hungry, Artemis is almost out of arrows, and Kaldur is dying from dehydration. Artemis & Kid Flash continue their bickering as Artemis tried to backpedal out of her pseudo confession. Robin of course saves the day, and he ironically pulls a Joker/Batman combo. Laughing timed explosives. Very nice.

The Psi Battle rages on, Superboy revives, sees what’s happening, and MM restores his memory. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Psimon is stronger than M’gann, but somehow Superboy connects with her and together…together….they are able to defeat him, which makes no sense, because Superboy doesn’t have telepathic powers, and they haven’t really hinted at his tactile telekinesis on the show yet. I guess their ‘love’ gives her strength. *groan*

The two aliens share a moment, and almost kiss…but then the tech sphere rolls up and kind of looks at them with its…eye. So they got Kaldur to the ship, but his memories are still missing, so M’gann has to restore them. And she’s got the tech sphere in tow for Kid Flash’s souvenir from the mission.

The final scene is again Psimon in front of the Council of Light, re-enforcing that absolutely everything that is happening is by their design…but the insight we get this time is that, as they’re talking about the tech sphere and defeating Superboy, we see…a boom tube. Wowzers.

So, the pace of the episode is somewhat tedious, but we do get some new information about everything’s that happening, and I’m still hooked enough to keep watching. The only thing I dislike so far about this first season is this long hiatus; I’m hungry for new ‘sodes!!

I’m also hoping that they’ve thought through what will happen once this Council of Light arc is done; is this going to encompass the whole series, or, will it, as I hope, lead to a Young Justice/JLA war with Darkseid?

Time will tell. But I’ll be watching. (See what I did there? )

Smallville:Scion_S10_Ep16

(filed under Scorch’s review of Smallville:Scion)

"It's like you and Lex fucked and I just popped right out!!"

Fortune was stupidly irritating and an insult to quite a few things. But this crap made me mad. I said I wasn’t gonna waste any more energy being mad at Smallville anymore, but that changed with Scion. It’s just ludicrous. From start to finish. To the point where, I’m at an exasperated loss for words.

But not totally. Also I’ve got a post ‘Scion’ rant that you can see here or here because I had more to say, but the blog post woulda been way too long.

Sequence 1: So Clark superspeeds home to find…Tess! I’m starting to see why Superman doesn’t think to lock the Fortress. He seems to be used to people barging all in his shit. Did he grow up on a farm or something? Oh wait

So after a few awkward pretendy moments of her and Clark ‘catching up’ Tess pretty much drops the bomb(nice ass on Cassidy by the way, that woman is made of sex). Their little ‘project,’ all of a sudden, needs guidance. And he’s outside waiting for Clark, so Clark doesn’t really have a choice. But he’s actually in the barn dead lifting a tractor. And half his DNA comes from Clark.

Now hold on just a damn minute.

-This is yet another slap in the face to Superman continuity. They’ve already introduced SuperGirl, and had her named, booted, and suited before Clark, and had her fly the nanosecond she got out of her watery ship, and rubbed salt in the wound by having her have to teach Clark how to fly. But now they’ve introduced SuperBoy as well. And got him in costume also. So much for Superman being first.

-This has to be one of the most ridiculous character bait and switches since Henry Jimmy. They spent all this time, since Lazarus remember, convincing us that this is Lex Luthor. The Lex Luthor. That he’ll grow up one day to be Michael Rosenbaum. Now all of a sudden…psyche!! This is also a slap in the face to all of Connor Stanhope’s incredible work as young Lex.

-This is just way too soon. Not only are Lois & Clark freakin’ ENGAGED before he puts the costume on, but now he’s a step parent??? Really? HE’S NOT EVEN SUPERMAN YET. And now Lois and Clark are prototypes of the Kents as well? …WHAT??‘Somebody save me’ has never been more appropriate. Save me from this frickin’ show.

Sequence 2: So cut to Lionel and Tess confronting each other in the Cloning facility. John Glover as Lionel is never bad. He’s ever the predator, ever manipulating, ever doing the same thing that Angelus does, telling people the truth to keep them off balance and maneuver them into position for the kill. They are again arguing over the exact same things…Lionel’s abandonment of Tess, this Lionel being Mirror Lionel, Lionel’s regret at the way he played his hand in the Mirror World and trying to fix it in this one, Lex’s role in both worlds, the ‘Luthor legacy,’ and who’s going to get control over Alexander. The thing about this whole quest is that it has now become very Star Warsish. Whether you want to look at Lionel as the Emperor or as Vader himself, either way it seems that a super powered young  offspring of his  has become the key to him taking over the universe and he is hell bent on making that happen. Tess basically seems to agree and leads him to a room to find, supposedly, CloneX’s ‘remains.’ So Lutessa is showing her skills as well.

I’m tired of them arguing over this boy. Especially since we know he’s not the only one, and there are more cloned Lanas too…they just conveniently ignore both points. They also make him too important, just like Lucas did with Anakin in the Star Wars prequels. In the OT, Vader was a part of a large oppressive Empire. In the PT, all of a sudden, he’s the sole person to bring balance to the Force. Sigh. The universe doesn’t have to center around him to make the story work. Same deal here…this is Superman’s story, not ‘Conner either fucks or saves the world.’

I am my own father.

This stuff doesn’t really work out in the Superman universe…Superman never gets better when he has a kid. Like, never. N.e.v.e.r. So cut to the barn, where it seems that in just a short time,

N.E.V.E.R.

Clark and his clone have become pals. And find out that ‘Conner’ is actually an acronym. What the FUCK ever I’m already too disgusted by this lump of coal to care. He’s just a totally different character now, and they conveniently mind wiped him. I can’t even *headdesk* over this shit any more because I’ve broken every desk in my house after watching Smallville. So, the current version of Superboy is indeed a mixed DNA clone, and was indeed a weapon against the heroes at first…it’s just the way that they did it here was a new level of lame. It’s also very irritating that he has all of Superman’s powers…I swear I thought they were going to make him fly. He also shouldn’t be nearly as strong as Superman, because he’s half human….Clark is all kryptonian. Argh. I’m getting a headache. So Clark of course reveals that he’s super powered, and that he’s The Blur and AlexConnerEl is freaked out. So Clark is his dad. Er brother. Oh whatever.

The next scene was totally predictable…in walks Lois, and you know what was coming next. Sigh. Conner takes a gander at those curves, and heat vision activate! Everything that we’ve watched Clark deal with for years happens to this boy toy in minutes. Just kill me now. They’re playing this out better on Young Justice anyway. Plus that Kent barn wall has been destroyed so many times I’ve lost count.

Sequence 3: “So Alexander is now Conner? Well I guess if Puff Daddy can become Diddy and Prince can be that squiggly thing, but I’m worried about what’s underneeeeath!” It’s not possible for the characters on this show not to talk in quips. We know this. But it’s old now. And yes Lois, he is indeed the lovechild of Clark and Lex. Giving yet another wink to the fact that everyone knows that Clex has been the main couple on this show all along. But then…Clark asks Lois to basically co-parent with him. I guess they thought that mentioning the blood sample from Helen Bryce would give us a continuity squee, but if I’d known it was going to turn into this….yrgh. I’m convinced at this point that ‘Fortune’ was actually a story about how the writers decide to write these episodes. Drunk, fucking, stealing other people’s property, making utter fools of themselves and forgetting everything the next day. All of a sudden Clark is responsible. Again. And he makes an impassioned speech to Lois about being an outsider and a freak. That part of the conversation I thought was well done…until they got to, “the ONLY thing that’s ever made me feel normal…is you.”

Really Clark?

Please STFU.

So Tess wants to get Lois to manipulate Clark to kill Lionel. Tess could just kill him her damn self. And they make it seem so dangerous, because Lionel knows about Kryptonite…so they hatch a plan to expose the fact that this is Mirror Lionel and not the original Lionel. Know why that’s lame? Because they could’ve, and should’ve, thought of that right away.

So Lionel figures out that Conner is alive, but of course we knew he would. He charges off to get him. Meanwhile the SuperTwins are practicing heat vision and other shit in the barn. Again. Clark lectures his younger Clone about the responsibilities that come with super abilities. This is a really ironic scene, SINCE CLARK CAN’T FLY YET, AND KARA IS STILL TEACHING HIM. But whatever, it’s Smallville.

Tess shows up, and Clark seems pleased that Conner is learning faster than he did, BUT EVERYBODY LEARNS FASTER THAN CLARK DOES. And, of course, Conner overhears the conversation, because it took Clark years to develop super hearing, and Conner does it in days. Remember that even Kara had to practice, but Conner’s already got it down pat. I’m about to throw up. So those two lunkheads forget that ConCon has super hearing, even though he just reminded Clark earlier about it, and he finds out, unceremoniously, that he is also a Luthor. Then he speeds off to explore that truth. Already, before we even get to the mess later, this is straight out of Angel. Fred and Gunn are supposed to be keeping Connor preoccupied while his fathers duke it out, and they spill the beans forgetting that he has super hearing. And he charges off into the fray. Just great. I’m running out of ways to say ‘this shit pissed me off.’  I need to invent some new curse words just for Smallville. How about ‘ripfuck?’ Because everything they do on this show, they rip it the fuck off from somewhere else.

Know what’s really funny? Chloe can always hack into anything, and Lois is always breaking and entering. And you know what else is funny. Lois. ALWAYS. gets. caught. It never fails. Her espionage schemes never once don’t result in her getting captured. Oh and stripped down to a boob revealing wife beater, because we can’t have an episode of Smallville that doesn’t remind us that ERICA HAS BIG TITTIES. Blah blah break in, blah blah Lionel with a gun, blah blah, Lois in a chair being interrogated. But she’s ‘tough as nails.’ Lois Lane is so smart and progressive and admirable and independent. Right. She’s so smart that she’s always getting captured and would’ve ended up dead a thousand times over without a super save from someone. But whatever.

Sequence 4: Conner is in the remains of the burned to the fucking ground Luthor mansion, and I must say that that is one set I was sorry to see go. The Talon not so much, but the Luthor mansion was the shit. Darth Lionel starts spinning his web again…and together they can rule the galaxy. Luckily ConnerXander doesn’t really trust him, but guess what happens next? That’s right boys and girls, Red Kryptonite. Lionel convinces him to put the ring on, and guess what happens next? You know it. Conner turns to the Dark Side…the Luthor that’s within. Again, every plot point we watched Clark experience over YEARS they do with this fool in minutes.

So Lois is getting her ass kicked as Lionel starts the Luthor Tutelage.

"You don't scare me motherfucker!! ....unless... you have like some anti-silicon bullets in that gun."

I swear I love Lionel, he doesn’t give a damn about anyone or any thing. He confronts Lois and he’s about to take her out, but then it’s Conner to the rescue!! But why, I thought he was evil? Or Luthorized? Or whatever. “I’m not the Lionel you knew.” Loved that shit. So he fires and Comical is faster than a speeding bullet and they’re off. And as soon as he put Lois down, I knew what was going to happen.

Cordy and Connor all over again.

"Come fuck me my son."

At least they had the common sense of not letting Lois fall for it, or get into it, or they would’ve completely ruined her character the way that Joss ruined Cordelia’s. but it was still cringe inducing to watch. From his lame attempts to impress her, to his seeming attempts at foreplay, to what is being debated as a prelude to…attempted rape? Or murder? Was Conner threatening to kill Lois or bone her? And how does he know how to drive by the way? Who taught him? And Lionel is on top of it all, as usual, Ten steps ahead. That’s why I love Lionel.

"So many secweth and lieth!!" ...It's no secret that you're a whore, though.

Clark confronts Lionel, and again, Clark acts like Batman. Not Superman. Just out of character in that scene. But anyway, Clark always says “I won’t let you hurt him.” There are some great throwback lines in this scene though, about how Lex was Clark’s closest friend(which, by the way, was not true, but still fun to watch), and how it was Clark’s “secrets and lies” that destroyed Lex, not Lionel’s manipulation. Secweth and lieth I tell ya!! The Lana Mantra!!!

Somehow this pervert thinks that Lois in a pimp fur coat and taking her to the burned mansion is romantic and sexy, and just whatever.  Then he freaking throws her across the room. Holy cow he IS Anakin, that was a Skywalker move if I ever saw one. “I love you and you’ll do what I say, Bitch!”

Sequence 5: They are just making Smallville even more of a joke in this final season. It’s really kind of shameful to be honest. So Lois wakes up to find that she’s a prisoner/hostage again. This is like her theme. And it’s such a dark, goth, eerie macabre seduction by Conner, but maybe that’s the point. So Lois plays along, but he catches on, because she is indeed a terrible liar. But how, exactly, would Conner know that? He manhandles her some more, and Lois has had her ass kicked all day now, but whatevers, she should be made of concussions by now. Clark shows up, and confronts him, and Conner just kicks his ass. It’s scenes like that that make me hate this show. Newly minted Superboy should not be stronger or a better fighter than Superman. Period.

"Smallville writers? I know where you live."

But what the fuck ever. Clark has to get his ass kicked every time someone even kind of powerful shows up, must be in Tom Welling’s contract. So Clark eventually slams his hand back and destroys the ring, but guess who then pops up with some Green K? Big Pimp Daddy Lionel. And floors both of them, but drags Conner away…and then Conner has to save Clark the exact same way Supergirl did, by heat visioning the kryptonite from a distance. Even though Conner had ZERO CONTROL over his heat vision aim earlier. Then all of a sudden he knows who he is. Just great. Identity crisis over then.

Sequence 6: Back at Luthorcorp, Lionel is listening to opera, and Lutessa interrupts him. She was smart to do what she did to get rid of him, and just as stupid TO TELL LIONEL WHAT SHE DID. How in the world would she not think that this would just not show him how to cover his tracks the next time he makes a bid for the Luthor assets? Because he will. But of course Lutessa has nanotrackers in his scotch, which was a nice evil twist…and then Tess’s line about “I will crush you.” That was nice. Empty, but nice. Tess is another one who is a mix, and Lionel reminds her of that. This is not the end of Lionel, because he never goes away quietly and expects to be killed at any moment by his own children. A true Dark Lord of the Sith.

Clark and Conner are back at the barn, kind of back where we started, having almost the same conversation…but whatever. And then the big reveal…the Superboy costume! A busted ass t-shirt with the \S/ shield on it. Just great. So now Conner is Conner Kent…and

"You'll be a hero some day my son. Much faster than me. Then again Daffy Duck became a hero faster than me."

he gets to go to Smallville high. If I didn’t know better I’d say that they were setting up a spinoff.

So that’s it? Conner is just in their lives now…just like that? A super powered step son? How exactly is Clark gonna explain that, and how does he pull that off legally? Probably Tess or Chloe pulling strings I suppose. And of course they mention kids of their own. Sure they do.

And then we get this:Honestly…I don’t really know what to make of that. Darkseid finally shows up, and he’s gonna team up with Lionel to bring Lex back? Conquer the world?  WHAT? *sigh* Darkseid’s a better villain than he’s getting on Smallville. Period. And Lionel needs more to do than follow cliched overused family plots.

Whatever. This shit just pissed me off.

They shoulda stuck with Ultraman.

"Yeah I know it's my show but why *not* have everyone else show up first?"

Young Justice: Denial_S1_Ep7

(filed under Scorch’s review of Young Justice:Denial)

"This ain't what you think, young' uns."

It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s the first true filler of the season. I have to say, I was really less than enchanted with this episode, because very little of it makes sense, so it’s clearly more a writer’s episode than a fan one, unless you happen to totally geek out over Dr. Fate.

I don’t.

So the basic premise is that old man Kent Nelson has gone off the grid in N’awlins.  He goes to a faux fortune teller, Madame Xanadu, to try and talk to Inza, his long lost love, and he reminds me a lot of Victor Fries by constantly looking at that picture of his beloved. Turns out Xanadu is a Scooby Doo scam, what a shock. *eye roll*  and he gets stolen-ported away. And his magic cane too! I’m already bored.

So the boys are sparring and the girls are giggling, playing matchmaker, and again the setup is questionable…because basically Red Tornado seemingly wasn’t going to assign them anything. They asked for it, and he gives them something totally out of their league. Pun intended. This repeating premise for every adventure is getting kind of old, but whatevs. It turns out that Fate has been missing for almost a month, and RT isn’t quite sure what the deal is, but he says that it’s unwise to leave the Helmet of Fate unguarded. Um. What happened on all the other times that Kent has been on a ‘walkabout?’ Wouldn’t he have failsafes for that kind of thing? So then RT produces the key to Fate’s castle *brrrzt<record scratch>* Why wouldn’t he send another member of the league more suited to such a mission, like Diana, Zatanna, or Captain Marvel, three magic based beings? Why the HELL would he send the kids over there? *facepalm* Also, they can’t just communicate with the Fortress of Fatetitude? It doesn’t have any cool telecom screens like every other superhero hideout? …Yah they gotta work harder to come up with more logical ways to deploy the team.

Let me also say the Miss Martian’s bio ship is everything that Wonder Woman’s off laughed at invisible plane should be. Just wanted to throw that out there. So it seems that the heart of this episode is Kid Flash’s scoffery at all things magical, along with a subtext of Kent Nelson not being willing to fully relinquish OR accept his responsibilities when it comes to the Spirit of Fate. That’s a double dose of boring if you ask me, because they haven’t established enough depth for Wally, of all people, to legitimately have this kind of existential and metaphysical crisis. It’s always been cool that the Flash family’s powers have been rooted in real world pseudo-science, but in terms of Wally’s character on this show, he’s the comic relief/bumbling/hyper horny/try too hard teenager that all boys try to forget that they once were. So I have less than no emotional resonance with his vision quest in this episode; the thing that rings true, as usual, is his obsession with Miss Martian. That’s it. Kent is a character we’re just now meeting, so again, there’s not enough of a connection there for us to care about him.

So apparently Kent….who we discover could at any point Fate out, but just chooses not to…is being tortured by some of the lamest ass villains I’ve seen in a while. Abra Kadabra(really?) and Klarion the Witch Boy. Um ‘scuse me a sec.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!! LAME!!!

There is nothing even remotely threatening about these villains, and you have to have some kind of sense of danger, or evil, or something to have an engaging story. These two look like they belong on The Cape. *shudder* So anyway, they’re getting off on punishing this old man,

I'm so lame I don't even deserve a caption.

to make him betray all his magically delicious secrets, when the heroes show up, out of costume(except for Superboy) which again takes me out of it, because if I wanted to watch heroes out of costume I’da watched Heroes. Even the voice actors for these ‘villains’ sound irritating beyond belief. So anyway somehow Aqualad dopes out that this is a test of faith…and then proceeds to stick the key in the exact spot where the invisible door is. Okay. And again they beat us over the head with how Wally is tryin’ so hard to impress Miss Martian with his belief in the mystic arts, and absolutely nobody buys it.

"Who dat?"

A hologram of Kent shows up, Wally says the unmagic words, and I have to ask, why exactly wouldn’t the tower recognize the sidekicks of the JLA? The only two of them that are actually new to the scene are Superboy and Miss Martian…why wouldn’t the Tower know about the rest? Batman’s too thorough to leave those kinds of details out. But whatever.

And then…*sigh*…yet another dumbass thing happens. That would be the floor caving in, and the gang falling. Um. Miss Martian can fly. I hate when this happens in cartoons, it’s just like in live action when someone is a ghost, and everything is intangible but their feet. So she realizes that halfway

"Hello Megan, you can fly!!"

down and grabs Wal-Mu, Artemis does a Robin(still can’t stand her) and grabs Aqualad, and Superboy comes to a screeching halt with his feet dipping in the lava. And he screams in pain. I don’t quite get that. Is he invulnerable or not? They need to more clearly define his powers. We’re just about halfway through the episode, and nothing of any real import has happened. So they do show that Aqualad and Megan would be struggling with that heat, which is good, but then Artemis, who’s only been on the team for two episodes now, gets in Wally’s face. Um. Who is this bitch and why does she think she can snap on Wally? Now, the other good thing that happens in this scene is the explanation of both Kid Flash’s powers and perspective, but it just falls flat to me emotionally. He’s not the ‘deep’ type.

They’re going all Matrix Reloaded in that each door opens to a new place…but nothing has happened yet. It’s all very wild goose chasey. Now the team’s in snow. Great. The punk ass villains are still marching Kent around torturing him. Great. Then all of a sudden Artipuss shows up with Wally, Kent uses his magic Yoda cane to escape…and then they just casually ride the Matrix elevator up to freakin’ wherever. Pacing, this episode has not. Tainted by the Stupid Side of the Force it is.

A Lord of Chaos…that’s what Klarion is. He’s a spoiled brat with an intensely bad hair cut. Impossible to take seriously. So then they all magic port to where the Helmet of Fate is just floating there…again, that makes no sense. Why the hell would Kent leave it out like that, floating around? The Castle’s defenses obviously aren’t worth jack shit. Why wouldn’t he have it somewhere that only he could reach, locked and coded to only respond to his voice, retina scan, fingerprint? Ah well he must’ve gone to the Superman school of how to guard your crib. So Kent and Wally have a heart to heart…and Kent tells Wally to have faith. Okay. So Wally, of course, puts the helmet on. Which no one should be able to do but the carrier of the Helmet. But whatevs. So Nabooboo, the ‘real’ Dr. Fate springs into action, but is somehow having trouble with Witch Boy. Oh whatEVER.

"Lemme tell you what's up inside this Helmet head party."

So they fight fight fight….until Fate seemingly figures out that KlarionLips needs the cat to anchor him in this physical plane. Wouldn’t he already have known that, is this the first time that they’ve met? Kent seems to know who he is. Whatever, there’s no internal logic to this episode. Fate strips Kadabra down to his underwear, Superboy knocks him out, and Kent and Fate seem to have a bit of a discussion about whether or not Fate should keep control of Wally’s body. Wally all of a sudden has become a believer, and Fate and Nelson seem to agree on what to do, and Kent tells Wally he needs a woman that is his match. But he morphs before he can name who it is…Artemis or Megan.

And then Wally….back at Mount Justice….PUTS THE FRIGGIN’ HELMET OF FATE ON HIS TROPHY/SOUVENIR SHELF NEXT TO CHESHIRE’S MASK. *sigh* They spend a whole episode talking about how powerful this thing is, and that’s where Wally puts it? *headdesk* Wally talks to Artemis, remembers Fate’s words, but chases after Megan. Again.

Pure filler. Rates a big ol’ ‘meh’ from me. Let’s hope that next episode has more substance.

"Yeah I know I'm a weirdo but that's what happens when you gets no pussy for millenia at a time."

Young Justice: Independence Day_S1_Ep1_Ep2

(Filed under Scorch’s review of Young Justice: Independence Day)“Today is the Day.” That’s the theme here. It’s a graduation day of sorts, but not everybody responds to it the same way.

The thing that grabbed me about this show right away was the opening sequence; as soon as I saw Batman & Robin in action, I was hooked, because they got it right. It was an interesting tactic to have all the Freeze/Cold powers attack, and watch the different hero families respond to it. Speedy had buckets of attitude; Aquaman was lame as usual, but Aqualad kicked ass. He knocked the FUCK out of Ice Princess. The Flashes were good too, because it was them. They nailed both Barry & Wally.  Now, one thing that did jump out at me though was Batman walking through the front door in broad daylight with cameras a’clicking. Um. No. That wouldn’t have happened.

So it’s the Young’Uns first time at the Hall of Justice, and it rightfully is a big deal. They’ve been lead to believe that they’re movin’ on up, and they’re no longer “sidekicks.” Speedy right off the bat is a total douche. He’s got so much attitude it’s hard to see how he made it this far with Green Arrow in the first place. In fact, I know that teenage rebellion is the norm here, but in general, their animosity towards their mentors makes no sense. It’s not like they’ve done them wrong. And out of all the proteges, Robin of all people would know that Batman trusts him. It’s funny, because Batman is the most secretive, yet Robin is the closest to his mentor…all the secrets of the BatCave, Wayne Tech, etc. So I call bullshit on this whole “they don’t trust us” premise; plus, who’s the youngest member of the Justice League? Do they have any teenagers on the roster? I do love the obvious camaraderie between Kid Flash & Robin though, that plays really well.

So the three of them rush off to Cadmus to investigate, and they do pretty well. Already the personalities are clear & distinct, and I again love Robin’s mastery of most things technical. And that laugh; at first it got on my nerves, now it’s a trademark of his. He also is going to be known for making up words; his obsession here is being “whelmed.” He’s so funny. I also loved his little hack program where he has his own grinning face come up when he’s bypassing the security codes; that was hilarious. Little touches like that make a series stand out. The one that always seems to have the least mastery of his powers is Kid Flash tho, so it’s easy to tell that he’s the comic relief of the group. So Dr. Desmond aka Blockbuster and the Guardian are behind what’s going on in the basement…but Guardian is clearly under mind control, and all of the other….beings….are some kind of experiment. The genomes keep everyone under control & under telepathic surveillance. Dubbilex is there, not sure yet if he’s a conspirator or under control, or playing everyone around him. Kudos to the creators for using all of these obscure characters. So the gang gets busted by a mind controlled Guardian and the Genome posse, and the actions sequences are great. There’s also the first hint of what will come out later as Robin’s inability to lead, because he’s so used to he and Batman’s way he doesn’t know how to coordinate a team effort yet.

So of course the Big Kahuna is the discovery of Project Kr…just down there in the basement. Turns out…it’s a Superman clone. If you’re familiar with the comics you’ll know who Conner is, and how he came to be, but if this is your first introduction to him, it’s a holy shit moment like no other. So they wake Conner up, like some idiots, and he proceeds to kick all of their asses. Best thing about this version of Superboy is that he’s not totally indestructible, like Superman, but he’s damn near close. He’s also angry & confused, and understandably so, once he understands the nature of his existence.

We find out that Dr. Desmond is a henchman for the Council of Light…mysterious figures whose faces aren’t seen, just a swirling mass of photons, but we can hear their voices. He’s ordered to clone the kids & destroy them once he’s done. What’s interesting about this sequence is how the YJer’s can’t get free, and obviously can’t beat Superboy…so they appeal to his conscience. Aqualad in particular talks to him about freedom, independence, & his right to his own life, and then asks him….”What would Superman do?” Kind of a wink at the “What Would Jesus Do?” meme and the umpteen agoogle comparisons between Superman and Christ. Superman is certainly treated with reverence & awe here, because just invoking his name helps Conner break free of the lil’ Gremlin’s mind control. He frees them, but he lets both Desmond & Robin know that he’s not interested in taking orders from anyone. I’m also glad that Robin had sense enough to destroy the DNA that they had already extracted. So Desmond calls for a Defcon One in GenomeVille to stop the gang. Superboy discovered earlier that he didn’t have heat vision, and on the way out discovers that he can’t fly. So there’s definitely room for development of his powers, but it also sets him apart even further as a distinct character from Superman. The gang makes great use of their individual skills on the escape, and you can see the synergy of the team already starting to gel. They do, however, get stopped & mopped when all of the genomes catch up with them, and the telepaths combine to drop them. But lo & behold….Dubbilex shows up, calling Superboy a ‘brother’ genome….and decides that he should have the freedom to make up his own mind. Lots of layers to this first ep, making it even more engaging. I’ve always known that if they ever succeeded in making human clones, these issues would be raised; if they are actually their own race, if they deserved equal rights, etc. It’s really cool to see that Superboy kind of has his own mission; it’s not necessarily fighting for truth, justice, & the American way, but as Dubbilex says, blazing a trail for his kind. Genomes no longer being slaves to humanity, but rather being free to live their own lives, with him as their champion and example. WAAAAY cool. Superboy chooses freedom, and Dubbilex also backs the psycho genomes off of Guardian’s mind as well.

So of course Desmond shows up and isn’t having any of that, so he drinks his blockbuster formula and hulks out. He kicks ALL their asses until Robin comes up with a plan to take him down, and with a coordinated effort, they do so. The action again is just awesome.

But then…guess who shows up? Superman & the rest of the League. Like, all of them, even my personal fave Captain Marvel(yes!!). And they look none too pleased. They looked rather miffed.  So Batman tells ‘em to start talking…they do…and Superman has to figure out what to do about Superboy. His newly arrived on the scene cloned ‘son’ that he didn’t know that he had. This is actually quite similar to that of an anonymous sperm donor having a kid show up on his doorstep, asking for love, acceptance, money & guidance, except obviously Kal didn’t know about any of this.

What happens next, on both levels, is kind of strange. Decision One: Superman is clearly but understandably uncomfortable…but he basically matters that the League will figure something out for Conner, and then just…flies off. Leaving Conner standing there feeling stunned & rejected. Being an alien himself, and after having just spoken to both Diana & John, two of the people that can relate to Superman’s dilemma the most, being a stranger in this world, it just seems like an out of character reaction. I can understand Kal being freaked out, because who wouldn’t be, but to just abandon Superboy like that….that just wasn’t right.

Decision Two: The YJers become defiant. I can understand them standing up for themselves, but they basically snap at the adults and say, “If you don’t like it, we’re gonna do it & roll over you anyway!” And Batman takes it. Um, no. Robin had the best approach…”Why train us at all?” That made the most sense to me. But Aqualad defying his King? Just doesn’t work. I can see Superboy wanting to strike out, because he just got a new lease on life and rejected by his dad at the same time. And it’s not like J’onn, Captain Marvel & Wonder Woman couldn’t have put a super smack down on those whelps if they had to. It was just a little too ‘in you face’ for me, but whatever, they had to establish the premise somehow.

So they end up at Mount Justice, but Batman lays down the law on how things are to go; Tornado will live there & mentor, Canary will train, and Batman will deploy. On “covert” missions. Yah THAT’S gonna go well. But hey, it’s too much fun not to watch! So they also introduce Miss M here, another alien, and at this point, the only girl. So, we’ve got Robin, human, no powers, Aqualad, an Atlantean hybrid, Kid Flash, human with speed powers, Superboy, a clone of Superman, and Miss Martian, J’onn’s niece. Love the diversity. The final takes is in the aftermath of Cadmus being destroyed, and the council of light vowing to keep moving forward with their plans. Great whetting of the appetite. All in all, a great pilot; I loved this show instantly!

Young Justice:Infiltrator_S1_Ep6

(filed under Scorch’s Review of Young Justice:Infiltrator)“Who are you?” Kid Flash asked that like a million times this episode, and that really is the central question here. Before I go into the episode, let me say this:

What I like about this show:

-The Animation: This will always make or break an animated show, as it is a visual medium just like comics, and the style of the show will either draw people in or alienate them, and this style is completely working.

-The Characterization: Whether you’re familiar with the comic or not, and you understand which characters are direct translations & which ones were created specifically for the show, the one thing that’s clear is that this is The Breakfast Club with superpowers, and it’s awesome. You have a very clear sense, even six episodes in, who these kids are, and they have a tremendous amount of room to grow, precisely because they are adolescents.

-The Level of Action: They literally never disappoint in this category, because they get that superhero escapism is all about those fantastic abilities that we don’t have, but wish we did, and we want to see super people doing super things, dammit.

-The Level of Continuity: Every episode is attached to all of the ones before it. It’s a simple as that. You can jump in & understand what’s going on, but like a good classic record, you have to experience the whole work to get the largest satisfaction from it.

What I Don’t Like About This Show:

*chirp* *crickets* ……Ummm……nothing.

So we open with Speedy, now Red Arrow, basically doing a one man rescue operation of Dr. Serling Roquette on Infinity Island. I also think that the time & date + location stamp that they do for every scene change is cool. It’s actually amazing how badass they’ve made his character, and I especially like the Street Fighteresque action when he busts through the door & does a combo on one of the guards. So Roquette is being forced to complete an as yet  unknown project for some as yet unknown villainy villainous types, and she complains about Red Arrow being her only rescuer….she wonders if he brought backup. And asks about budget cuts. Not liking this bitch. Bad guys again can’t shoot for shit as they have the escaping pair dead to rights with a slew of automatic weapons, but hey, no show if the grunts can aim. Speedy Arrow leaves them a little present as they depart; I’m liking him even more. He’s a dick, but he can back his shit up. He’s also much more Batmanesque in his approach, because he clearly doesn’t give a damn what anyone thinks about his activities. So turns out that whatever Roquette was working is indeed operational, and The Sensei and Professor Ojo are “good to go.”

So back on Mount Justice & the gang is having a day at the beach, while it seems that Wally unfortunately has had to start school. This sequence was funny in how it zoomed in on M’gann(even green cartoon babes in bikinis make guys drool), but also, it made me realize the diversity of the team. Did or does Aqualad go to school? Did he do so in Atlantis, do they even raise their kids that way? M’gann basically hangs around at Mount Justice all day, does J’onn teach her anything, or does she just watch MTV? Same with Connor, he’s got no family….so only Dick & Wally actually go to school. It’s like a combination of foreign exchange students, home schoolers, private schoolers, and public school kids. Nice. Robin is funny as hell with his “moment of silence.” Again, this is indeed the wisecracking, show boating kid that Dick Grayson is supposed to be, and I love it. UmmmthatsandmoundoverSuperboy

wasaquickdirtyjokelikehisdickwashard.

So the main idea/plot/focus of this episode is the fact that Artemis, who is functionally Arrowette,  is now being introduced to the group, in exactly the same way that M’gann was, but somehow…it just doesn’t feel right. Kid Flash senses it right away, and so does the audience. Anyone with any knowledge of Teen Titans history immediately all thought the same thing: Terra. It’s clearly the Judas Contract all over again, especially since they named the friggin’ episode “Infiltrator.” This storyline was also done in the recent animated Teen Titans series as well(and they had a much better theme song). But the writers seem to say in interviews that Artemis is not an Amazon, nor Arrowette, nor Mia/Speedy, or whatever. So we’ll see, but somethin’ ain’t right about her.

Sure are a lotta nieces goin' on around here.

So Red Arrow tells ‘em that ‘The Fog’ was the weapon that Dr. Roquette created, and how insidious it is. The League of Shadows ain’t playin’, dammit! I still don’t quite understand Red Arrow’s motives, because he keeps trashing the group & the concept behind it, yet he keeps showing up and being a part of their missions. We’ll have to see how that plays out as well.

The Doc is at Happy Harbor High(HAH!), and more continuity points for using their ‘cloaked’ uniforms. Aqualad requests that Miss Martian hooks the team up telepathically, and hilarity ensues. There’s just such rich comedic potential in having super powered teenagers mentally accessible to one another, and this episode doesn’t miss a beat of it. Robin helps Kid Flash realize that Artemis was the one who shot the arrow that helped them in their fight with Amazo(CONTINUITY RULEZ I TELL YA!!!)….all while they’re in each other’s heads. Again, so much about this makes sense…the doctor has the typical “it’s not a weapon it’s science!!” attitude that so many scientists do, when they create something & refuse to see its potential use from every angle, Aqualad is typically stoic & noble, a young man of few words, but when he does speak, it counts, and the doc even recognized that tracking The Fog would also let the League know where she is. I know all of that seems like minor quibbles, but little things add up.

“Mmmm that boy.” Artemis doesn’t take long to start unapologetically diggin’ on Connor, that’s fer damn sure. I thought it was interesting that Miss Martian could reconfigure her ship to be piloted by Robin, and even stranger that he’d somehow know what to do inside of her ship…maybe she has some kind of autopilot, or maybe she’s walked through some training in the use of her ship for the other members of the group. What we also eventually need to know, and Superman recognized this too, is exactly what Connor can and cannot do. Sometimes it seems like he has all of Superman’s powers, sometimes it seems like he doesn’t.  So Cheshire manages to slip into the high school while M’gann & Artemis are bickering, and quickly outwits Kid Flash…but then she dumps his unconscious body in the pool. Clearly she meant to kill him, because he’d drown in minutes…so why didn’t she just stab him? So they have a brief but intense fight, and Cheshire bamfs out of there…I also have to wonder how M’gann can’t see or read Artemis’ deception. This was the same problem I had with Identity Crisis, and I wrote Brad Meltzer an email & told him so, because it’s hard to buy a telepath being on a team and then telling a story about deception. It’s obvious that Artemis is hiding stuff, so M’gann should pick up on it. But anyway,

So Robin & Superboy see Star Labs get trashed, & they regroup for round two. So then we have the two biggest *headdesk* moments of the episode, both by Aqualad. Moment 1: He tells Kid Flash and Artemis to “stop it” because he can somehow HEAR THEM GLARING. Um…what? Unless he was being funny, that makes no sense at all…exactly what mental sound is made when you glare? Moment 2: For some reason, he tells Miss Martian, OUT LOUD, to stay cloaked & make a perimeter sweep. Um, WHAT? The only reason in retrospect that I think he did that was to maybe throw off any assailants that might be nearby. If that’s the case, then it was strategy, no harm no foul. So Spider-Man….erm, I mean Black Spider, The Hook(brilliant name) and Cheshire show up, and knock the fuck outta Aqualad, which rarely happens on this show. So they fight fight fight until we see that Roquette is actually M’gann in disguise(I LOVE that ploy), so maybe that’s a clue as to what Aquadude was doing earlier.

Cut to the real Roquette, and she’s desperately trying to upload her anti-virus virus cure viral-non-virally defoggy halitosis cure thingy. So the next question obviously is…how the FUCK did Aqualad go from being knocked out on the ground to where the doctor was? The only way that sequence works is if when Aqualad was speaking, that was actually M’gann in disguise as Aqualad…and then once the villains leave she zooms back into the high school invisibly and takes on Roquette’s form while telepathically hurling debris at the criminals. If that’s the case, then kudos all around. Robin realizes that if The Fog hacks Wayne Tech, they’ll eventually get to the Batcave, and can’t let that happen…I love how he freaks out over that.

So it seems that Cheshire infra reds some footprints, so maybe that was the real Aqualad…that doesn’t make sense that he recovered & relocated that fast then, but whatever. So Cheshire could’ve just hurled a sai at Dr. Roqy but that woulda been too easy…Robin n’ Superboy at Wayne Tech confront Cylcops…I mean, Dr. Ojo and Connor charges ahead as usual. The coolest part about this sequence was Robin using an override command inside of Wayne Tech. Superboy as usual gets his shirt burned off. This is a theme with him. Cheshire spares Roquette because she finishes her nanobyte penicillin…and says that the Shadows may need her again someday. Um, okay. She shoulda just killed her. Robin uploads the cure, and “the infiltrators have been outfiltrated!” Robin and his made up words, I swear.

"You don't wanna know the shit I know."

So of course the big deal is when Arrowette/Artemis stops Cheshire, she’s unmasked, and threatens to expose all of blondie’s secrets…which then prompts Lil’ Arrow Pimpette to let her go. Hmmm…the plot thickens. The gang smells a rat, but welcome her to the team anyway.

On a side note, M’Gann’s statement about having 12 sisters or whatever on Mars in effect continues the retcon of J’onn. Initially J’onn was the only surviving member of his race…but comic readers also know that M’Gann is actually a White Martian posing as a Green Martian because she hates her White Martian heritage. We’ll see what they do with that.

Blonde Arrow then teleports to a phone booth in Gotham City which was awesome, and is confronted by Red Arrow, who basically tells her that he knows she’s not Ollie’s niece, and that he knows that Bats & GA are lying about Artemis…but he chooses to trust them for now. He issues a warning to Artemis though, and I swear, Roy acts more like Batman was his mentor than Ollie. Finally we see Sensei again, and the counsel of light talking about the gang…seems like the Wayne Tech was their goal all along, but then they speak of an operative INSIDE Young Justice.

They’re being so heavy handed and obvious with this thing until I’m not quite sure where they’re going with it…we don’t know who Artemis is…if she’s not the traitor, who is? My vote is for either M’gann or Red Tornado. We’ll see. All in all, another great episode, and I can’t wait to see what’s next!

...Somebody's gonna bite the big one.

Young Justice:Schooled_S1_Ep5

(filed under Scorch’s Review of Young Justice:Schooled)

This episode was fun, because I love the show, but it doesn’t really make a lot of sense. The internal logic is way off, and some decisions are way out of character.

The opening sequence finds trouble in Metropolis, as a bridge explosion is triggered. We see Bruce looking down from Wayne Tower, he flips back a bust(which is a wink to the campy 60′s Adam West Batman show), and out pops his costume from a top drawer. But then we see Superman zooming in, holding the bridge up and repairing it with his heat vision. So far, so cool.

Connor, however, zooms in with a super leap, and lands too hard on the bridge with his signature entrance. It momentarily startles Superman, but he recovers. Connor tries to rescue the bus, but Superman takes it. They have yet another confrontation, as Superman just continually refuses to directly deal with both who and what Connor is. Connor keeps reaching out, but Kal won’t engage. That still feels a bit out of character for me…because it’s not like Superman to run from his problems, even when they make him uncomfortable. What’s even more out of character is that Superman would let a powerful being like Connor, which he is partly(although it was unbeknownst to him) responsible for creating, run around and basically ignore him, pretending that the problem was dealt with. Batman radios him and says, “We need to talk.”

So Black Canary is brought in to help with training. Makes sense, because she and Wonder Woman along with Batman are all masters at hand to hand. Black Canary specifically focuses on Judo, which has to do with using your opponent’s actions against them. Of course Kid Flash, whose horniness apparently knows no bounds, steps up to spar, flirting with Canary. Holy crap that’s an invitation for ass kickery, which he then receives. I don’t quite get how Canary is faster than a Flash, but maybe we can chalk that up to Wally’s inexperience with his powers. She then calls out Connor, and he, as usual, is angry and believes he’s above training given his power level. She of course knocks him on his ass, but senses his struggle, and offers to be there for him when he’s ready. Again, I don’t know how Canary would be faster than Connor, but we’ll chalk that one up to Connor’s inexperience as well. Now I wanna see Canary vs. Batman and Canary vs. Superman.

So the main villain then shows up, and right off the bat, let me say that Amazo is a problem by his very definition. A machine that can record & then somehow mimic ALL THE POWERS OF THE JUSTICE LEAGUE. Batman himself says that it took eight leaguers four hours to beat & dismantle him. But he doesn’t say how. So right off the bat I knew that when the kids beat him, it wasn’t going to make any sense, after a set up like that.

But then….the biggest dumbassery that I’ve seen on the show yet. Batman says that Amazo’s parts are going to be shipped to two separate Star Lab locations for study. Here are the problems with that idea….

First of all, two collections of Amazo’s part are too few. He should’ve had them split into six or more separate units, and he would’ve had at least one of them coming back to the BatCave. GuarandamnTEE you Batman would’ve done that.

Secondly, why in the friggin world would Batman put them in armored cars when Superman, Flash, Wonder Woman and J’onn could’ve had them were they needed to be in seconds?

Thirdly, which had me doing the biggest facepalm of all…Batman says there will be four extra decoy trucks, and that the kids will be assigned to follow the real trucks. Well…DUHR…if I was Professor Ivo, or ANYONE, all you’d have to do is follow the trucks that the YJer’s are following and ignore the others. *headdesk* I thought that Batman was pulling a bait & switch, which would’ve been more in character, and we were gonna find out that the kids were actually with the decoy trucks to throw anyone off the scent. But no, there they were. Stupid. Especially stupid to put the KIDS in charge of guarding the transport. Untrained agents covering cargo that powerful.

Lastly, Batman would’ve already known that the parts were GPS tagged, because he would’ve examined them for that very thing before shipping them off, especially if Robin could figure that out in seconds. *smh* The writers dropped the ball on this one.

We have a brief interlude where Bruce is confronting Clark in a diner, and challenging him to be the father that Connor needs him to be. Clark gets pissed at that, and takes his apple pie to go, and that’s the end of it. Again, that just feels a little uncharacteristic to me…Superman of all people wouldn’t shirk his duty, no matter how personally distasteful. That’s a little too Superman Returns for me.

So, the expected happens, and M.O.N.Q.I.S show up, strangely laughing like hyenas, or the Wicked Witch’s pets, and of course overwhelm the YJers. Seems like they have kryptonite power beams, because they manage to hurt Superboy with their blasts, and simply outnumber everyone else. One thing I’ve noticed on this show, so far, is that Aqualad NEVER gets his ass kicked, so he must be a writer favorite. It was also interesting to see Kid Flash’s reaction to Megan growing more arms. I’m sure that they are going to make her alien heritage more of an issue as time goes in. So yada yada, Robin figures out how to track them, and off they go.

Superboy, on the other hand, is still so enraged at his ‘father’s’ rejection, and the continual comparisons, that he charges off after the M.O.N.Q.I.S, determined to fight them on his own. Just great. He encounters Professor Ivo, who looks more like the comic version of Toyman, and a completely reassembled and repowered Amazo. Which again, could’ve been prevented if all of his android guts weren’t simply being transported in two cases. But anyway. Amazo begins to do his thing, and kick all possible ass, which is the only thing that could happen, given the fact that he can access any of the League’s powers. Which also automatically makes him more than a match for the YJers. Aqualad gave a few field orders, but what’s missing this time is the leadership needed to coordinate the attack against Amazo.

So Amazo kicks Superboy’s ass all the way to Robin’s school, and Robin, Kid Flash, and Superboy are all they are to take him on. And continually get pummeled while Ivo looks on and laughs. Somehow then, Superboy gets an epiphany when Amazo accesses Black Canary, and he begins to fake a rage fit. I’m guessing to try and put the fight on his terms, and not Amazo’s. The team keeps coming at him, and predictably, he keeps switching powers, but when he becomes intangible like J’onn, Superboy sticks his fist in his head, and when he resolidifies, his head explodes and he keels over. Aqualad and Megan come charging in after it’s all over. Ivo has escaped. There was also an arrow that was shot in the middle of the fight, signifying the presence of an archer, but not the one we think.

So they’re back at Mount Justice getting their mission debriefing, and again, it’s “You did a good job, except for your fuck ups,” which this time were all pretty much on Superboy. Batman congratulates them again on adapting in the field and learning the value of teamwork; Robin accuses Green Arrow of babysitting, but then they compare arrows, and they all see that it’s not Ollie’s arrow. They then assume that it’s Speedy, but maybe it’s Mia/Artemis. We’ll see. Superboy, of course, has humbled himself, and is ready to receive training from Black Canary, and she reaches out in a mentorly/motherly way, which I thought was very heartwarming.

My main problem with this ep is how out of character Batman was written. It was extremely foolish of him to put the UNTRAINED KIDS in harm’s way up against someone like Amazo, because he could’ve killed them all. What if Superboy hadn’t had that idea? They would’ve been toast.

But in any event, it introduced one of the League’s deadliest villains, we saw some progress with Connor accepting help even though he’s still angry that his ‘father’ hasn’t accepted him, we know that there’s still an archer somewhere in the mix, and Ivo is free to wreak more havoc.

Still very excited about what’s to come.

Young Justice:Drop Zone_S1_Ep4

"Yes I'm not Batman but I'm still cooler than the rest of you acne riders."

(filed under Scorch’s Review of Young Justice:Drop Zone)

I just can’t rave about this animated series enough. I know that it’s equal parts that it really is high quality, and that we’re coming off of some notable letdowns in terms of superhero shows, but whatever the case, this show so far is kicking monstrous kinds of ass.

There’s a basic idea in this episode that’s developed really well, and has logical, connecting plot points. Again, both a refreshing twist and a shame that it’s the exception and not the rule.

Bane, who for once is presented accurately here, ethnically, physically, and intelligently, is dealing with the production of Venom on his island. Seems like he’s being muscled out of his own operation by what we come to find out is a bunch of cult worshipers that are fawning over Cobra. Not too different from Imhotep. Bane is forced to fight in a gladiator’s ring where he finds out that hard way that there’s a new form of Venom being produced, because his opponent, which starts off as a skinny kid, is injected with it. He then transforms into a Hulk-sized version of Blanka. And proceeds to kick Bane’s ass. Holy shit. Sure didn’t see that coming.

Batman(ALWAYS elevates a show when he’s in it btw) gathers the YJ team to check out what’s happening on the aforementioned island. The kicker here is that he stresses that it is to be a covert mission. Gathering information and reporting back. Simple reconnaissance. Red Tornado is there as well, further albeit softly hitting the structure that Batman laid out in the first episode; Tornado trains, he deploys. Every little tap of consistency is noticed and appreciated. Makes one wonder why other production teams can’t get a fucking clue. Robin wisely asks who the leader will be, and Batman tells them that they have to work that out for themselves. Awesome set up on all counts. Because you KNOW where it’s going and it’s still incredible to watch it unfold. I was riveted to my TV set for the entire half hour, and I can’t remember the last time that happened other than TSCC.

So, the team is deployed, and on the way, more awesomeness unfolds; we see again see this incredible bioship that Miss Martian has (which I guarandamnTEE you is going to be a plot device at some point in the future; something about it being possessed by an enemy, or developing higher sentience and taking issue with being used, or being a part of some race that’s been enslaved). It responds to her commands, and even sets up some members of the team with blackened uniforms to cover up the whole primary color thang. Superboy refuses, and spews out the “no capes, no tights” thing, and Megan stumbles all over herself trying to tell him it works for him.

They release Blaqualad into the water first, and then arrive on the island, and what happens next is so logical and in character for all involved it was like salve to my brain after watching a certain other show. Superboy arrives too loud, but displaying his power, in typical Kryptonian fashion. Robin does just as he’s been trained to do, which is not communicate, and use his ninja skills to disappear. Kid Flash jets off to find him, without thinking first, Blaqualad realizes that WE DON’T HAVE A FREAKING PLAN, Megan struggles between being assertive or being a follower.

So let’s review what in FOUR EPISODES the show has established: Robin acts exactly like the original concept of Dick Grayson, wise cracking, show-boaty, and someone that is being trained personally by the world’s greatest detective. Kid Flash is a normal teenage boy at super speed…impulsive, horny, no game when it comes to girls, and apologizes a lot for rash actions. Blaqualad is loyal & logical and badass; pragmatic, effective, and wise beyond his years. Megan is the alien trying to be human…which, by the way, every time that happens somehow American TV is the curriculum, but whatever. And Superboy is the angry, brooding, powerful teen who really doesn’t like himself or his life, and doesn’t know how to express it other than violently. FOUR EPISODES I remind you, and we have very well fleshed out characterizations.

So the team finds themselves smack dab in the middle of the conflict between Bane and his goons and Cobra & their minions. Thanks to a bumbly effort by Kid Flash and a lack of communication from Robin. Interwoven in all of this is the display of the team’s powers, and Bane’s incredible strategic mind at work. Just brilliant. The team ends up having to fight Cobra after trusting Bane, not really understanding(although Superboy does) that Bane is just using them for his own ends. They come up against the Cobra weapons as well as Blanka Hulk, and I must say, again, that it is a real fight. By that I mean that, for example, Superboy has been shown to be extremely powerful, yet he is not all powerful; he can be hurt, and he can be beaten. Miss Martian uses her powers wonderfully, but she’s still exposed later. The team is forced to use her as a telepathic conduit, the same way Martian Manhunter functions with the adult Justice League. We also are introduced to what Cobra is really doing with the Venom, that being, combining it with other DNA to in effect make SuperVenom, and sell it to a mysterious figure named the SportsMaster.

So after a bit of stalemate, where there were equal parts of ass kickery and pwning from Cobra, the team regroups. Robin is disappointed in his leadership, and Kid Flash whines about it not being all his fault. Blaqualad wisely susses out what really happened on all parts, and the team argues about who should be the leader, until Robin agrees that it shouldn’t be himself, but BL. BL then says that it’s only temporary, that Robin was born to lead the team. Again, brilliant writing; having the team make a logical decision in the present, but completely foreshadowing the future that we’re expecting, which in effect actually gives the story somewhere to go. I’m running out of superlatives.

With BL now in charge & the telepathic hook up in place, they re-engage, eventually learning of Bane’s manipulation. They utilize their powers and strategy way more effectively at this point, even though Cobra is not completely stomped & defeated. They use ‘castling,’ like Batman & Superman do; switching enemies in the middle of the fight. The team proves that they can be formidable when they’re organized and focused, and yet they act exactly like real teens would act given the sci fi situation that they’re in. Superboy relishes a rematch, and a chance to cut loose on an opponent, Kid Flash always gloats just like that annoying kid in your class who can do something that no one else can do. Megan’s “hel-LO Megan” is indeed annoying, but I think it’s supposed to be; it’s a jab at our narcissistic self-absorbed teenage culture. Robin is that kid that has the coolest dad EVER and feels no need to apologize for it, and Blaqualad is that young person who’s serious, intense, and wise beyond his years; a young man with an old soul. Superboy and Megan have a moment where he compliments her, and makes a green Martian blush; no mean feat there. Just enough romance to be cute, BUT THEY’RE NOT BUILDING A WHOLE DAMN SHOW AROUND THEIR RELATIONSHIP. Robin gets completely pwned by Cobra, who fancies himself a god, and Robin a gnat, and proves it with an effortless ass whooping. Cobra then retreats & promises a return. We also find out that SportsMaster was able to salvage one vial of the Super Venom, and bring it back to…the Council of Light. The episodes keep ending with that shot, and that phrase, so either that’s Dr. Light setting up the mother of all supervillain coups, or something else.

The team is getting the ol’ movie smackdown by General Batman that actually turns complimentary before it’s all over. Blah blah, inexperience, blah blah, mistakes, and oh yeah, good job. I love Batman’s  line about how “No plan survives first contact with the enemy.” Then he says that it’s their ability to adapt and adjust on the spot that makes them successful, all of which is totally in line with Batman’s character, and Batman’s own way of operating. Plus, it re-enforces the concept of why the League needs Batman; having super powers doesn’t make you a strategist or a detective, and Batman is both. Young Justice recognizes all of this as well. Just brilliant.

So, I can’t say enough wonderful things about this wonderful show; it balances all of the elements well, characterization, consistent plots, continuity from episode to episode, incredible action with powers, costumes, mystery, growth, fidelity to the comic material where they come from, and….the piece de resistance: REAL VILLAINS. THAT WANT TO DO VILLAINY THINGS. Like run a drug cartel, form cults, consolidate power, take over the world, make an army that they can control. NOT BE IN FUCKING LOVE WITH FUCKING LANA LANG OR LOIS LANE OR JOEY POTTER OR THE FUCKING MARY SUE OF THE WEEK. WHO DON’T TURN INTO LITTLE FUCKING PUSSIES JUST BECAUSE THEY GET SOME PUSSY.

I hope that they keep this quality level up all the way through, and don’t get canceled prematurely.

This show is awesome.

Young Justice:Welcome to Happy Harbor_S1_Ep3

(filed under Scorch’s Review of Young Justice:Welcome to Happy Harbor)

Just  a brief commentary on the episode tonight…more so focused on the characters than the situations.

Speedy: Can’t for the life of me understand his extreme dickishness. Also, his disdain for what’s going is being played out more like someone that has a bougie attitude…that all of this is beneath him, which doesn’t make a lot of sense, given that he’s been Green Arrow’s Jr. partner all this time.

Red Tornado: My initial reaction was that I was underwhelmed…there is so much potential with having Red Tornado being the trainer. His voice & presence doesn’t feel balanced right yet…if he’s supposed to be cold, or if he’s supposed to be calculating…or empathetic…right now he’s coming off more as really bland. But the good news is, seeing that the episode reveals that they’re actually after him, perhaps more will be revealed about this air elemental.

Robin: I hated that laugh when I first heard it…but now it’s becoming his trademark, and it’s much more in line with the original concept behind Dick Grayson. The laughing daredevil…so it’s working for me now. Surprisingly. I love how, just like Batman, he’s got a friggin’ endless supply of gadgets in his utility belt.

Kid Flash: He’s fast, he’s funny, he’s constantly horny, he’s the perfect teenage boy with super powers. I think that his characterization is the best after Robin’s.

BlaquaLad: And yes I will call him that; he’s there for the same reason that the original Justice League cartoon configuration was conceived. If they hadn’t had John Stewart and Shayera in the League, it would’ve been “Six Super White Guys and one Woman Save the World.” So it’s clear that an attempt at ethnic diversity is being made here with Mr. Electro Boogie. I think that he’s been compromised already, because he was clearly defiant to Aquaman last week, and that seems to be the last thing that someone that has reverence for their King would be doing. So it’s hard to buy him as loyal. Whatever, he’s the character that I’m most ‘meh’ about, although his powers are definitely cool.

Miss Martian: I get what they’re trying to do with her; again, female & an alien, bringing diversity. What’s funny is that she alREADY sounds like an assimilated American Teen Girl, L.A. version. She refers to herself by her Earth name; it’s just all too easy. I’d like to see her struggling with her alien nature & loneliness, much more like J’onn does. She’s also the Starfire/Mary Sue character, which means that when Artemis shows up, she’s gonna be that Bitchin’ Bad Ass one. She’s also *sigh* already the most powerful one, especially with her telepathy. Even Superboy is vulnerable to it.

Superboy: Too one dimensional. I’m already tired of his angry confused angsty pouting. Whatever dude. I like that they’re giving him his due power wise though; at least it feels like he’s a Superman clone with room for improvement.

The suh-MARTEST things they did tonight was establish that:

- The characters really are junior grade versions of their older mentors. They’re powers are not nearly as developed, & they don’t yet have mastery of the abilities that they do have. There is a clear distinction between the adult & teen sidekick versions; excellent.

-They all have room to grow; they’re not already so locked into their particular molds until there’s no flexibility.

-The team is anything but a well oiled machine. Yeah The Cape needs to pay attention right along through here.

-Making a difference between the more experienced members of the group and the newbie, Miss M.

The action quotient is really good too; they’re squeezing in the exposition and the character development really well.

So, so far, like their older counterparts…I’ll be watching.